It is not the sparkling lights of the glittering houses and trees that light up the dark streets, nor the Christmas fare in stores, nor the seasonal concerts and parties that stir me into the Christmas spirit. It is only and finally the Christmas Eve service. The annual celebrations build one upon another into a collage of warm Christmas Eve memories: the faithful gathered in song and prayer, children rubbing their eyes with sleepy yawns at midnight masses, the darkness of the sanctuary dotted with small lighted candles in wavering hands as the chorus of Silent Night rises to fill the space, followed by the raising of the lights and the triumphant exclamation sung, "Joy to the World.... let heaven and nature sing!" Then, it is then, that Christmas has arrived at last.
Here are three things I love about Christmas.
1. Christmas Love remembered. My favorite thing about Christmas is not a concrete thing but rather a very specific feeling. It only comes once a year and is very fragile and fleeting. It originates in memories of the Christmas's of my childhood. Sitting with my mother and brother, the church filled and people standing in the aisles, my father celebrating and preaching, I felt loved, and safe, secure and cared for in the midst of those Christmas Eve services. My mother is very old now, and my father has gone to glory - my sister too, my brother lives very far away, as do my own grown children, and yet the unspeakable, undefinable divine presence that transcends the years still wraps me in a warm blanket of knowing the Love that is God on Christmas Eve.
2. Christmas Day memories with meditation on the Christmas Tree. There is a crispness to Christmas morning that is unlike any other day. The Love of Christmas Eve is carried into the fullness of the day. The day feels precious and I savor every moment of it. I am carried along by the memories of big family gatherings, festive meals with the fine china and crystal, and the best recipes of Gourmet magazine brought to life by my mother's finely tuned culinary skills. I was never able to replicate those holiday meals of old in my household but they live on somewhere inside me. The Christmas tree makes sense to me on this day. Before Christmas Day it was just a superficial decoration. It isn't a religious symbol of course. But it is symbolic of things that mean something to me, family, memories of Christmas's with my children and the ties that bind, the fondness of those who have passed who shared with me in the decorating of the tree, and the joy of the present moment. Sometimes I stare at it for long periods in a kind of blissful state of contentment. It isn't the materialness of the tree but the beauty and perfection of it. It has no connection to a religious understanding of the high feast of Christmas Day but I experience it as an iconic expression of the divine within the secular. I see in it the outward and visible sign of an inner and invisible presence, a manifestation of something holy, and therein, for me, on the Day of Christ's birth, takes on an almost sacramental significance.
3. Gifting at Christmas. I very much enjoy buying and giving gifts at Christmas. To give something of value to someone else without expectation for anything in return has tremendous power. It is transformative. It resets our ordering of things in the material world aligning it more with the values of the Kingdom. When we choose a gift for someone we are focusing intently on the part of them we honor and even cherish, and is an act of goodwill as we let the rest go. This can be healing for relationships that are a bit rocky - but only if the motivation is pure. In this case, if the gift is not well-received, it does not corrupt the offering. An ungrateful recipient is then left with a unwanted gift and a hardened heart. The cynical will suspect the gift and the motive of the giver and no reconciliation will be possible. In this case, no gift can ever satisfy that person. But the one who gives freely regardless of circumstances has the benefit of an open and forgiving heart - open to the ongoing revelation of the Divine and is undeterred by either acceptance or rejection - the outcome of the giving is immaterial. How we receive a gift is as important as the giving. It speaks volumes about our relationship to Christ, to the receiving of the gifts of the Spirit, to the receiving of acts of kindness and generosity - these are not unrelated. Gifting is a spiritual practice. But at the most basic level it simply makes me happy to express Love (Love that is bigger than me) to others by way of the outward and visible signs of affection wrapped up and topped with a bow.
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