Teen Time

Our parish hall is currently the home of a small collection box for donations of children's clothing for a community service project of a local Girl Scout troop. With a sixteen year old daughter and a twelve year old son, it occurred to me today that I am nearing the end of the time of having on hand lots of kids clothing to pass along. Even without my contribution the box was nearly full the first Sunday it was there because there are lots of families at St. James for whom outgrown clothing is still a constant byproduct.

To not have piles of outgrown children's clothing seems an unexpected and strange milestone. I have had 16 years of always having items to pass on and suddenly my source is drying up. Yesterday I found a few Valentine cards on the kitchen table that fell out of my son's book bag. Until I saw them it had not occurred to me that this was the first year in a very long time that I didn't need to buy packages of Valentine cards for his classmates. Of course, the cards I found were from female classmates . . . some opportunities simply can't be passed up. Last fall there were no Halloween costumes to make or buy, no walking the cold, dark streets in late fall to trick or treat. And Santa's load was considerably lighter as well. Its part of the realization of a passing part of one's life for which a variety of mixed feelings seep through the mundaneness of things taken for granted. In two years I'll be sending my firstborn off to college. Next year the youngest begins high school.

I'm not altogether saddened by the passing of these things since I really love the current ages of my children. Quite honestly, I'm a better parent of teenagers. Outgrown friendships replace outgrown clothing. A broken heart replaces a broken toy. A lost friendship replaces a misplaced stuffy. The moaning of boredom replaces the whining of hungry and tired. My kids are discovering what it means to be rejected, betrayed, used, disliked - even hated, ignored and emotionally injured far sooner than I'd ever have imagined. There is no comparison of their youth with mine.

Some years ago a mother of teens that I respected very much told me: "You think your children need you when they're small, and they do. They depend on you for their every need. But when they really need you is when they're older." This woman felt so committed to this belief she quit her job to be home more often with her two teens (were it possible for all of us to be able to do this...). She stressed the best opportunities to connect with teens: the moment they walk in the door from school - while they're eating you out of house and home - as you're just sitting around gently inquiring and listening to what happened in their day. She said she was always amazed at what they'll tell you if you during this brief open window in teen time. Car rides were another favorite open opportunity for rich conversation. I've also added bedtime chats to that list. The hardest part is figuring out how to respond to the information I am given. Let's just say that these are not conversations I would have had with my mother, not even now. Like I said, comparisons to my teen years cannot be made, 'cause there are none.

So while I vaguely miss having hand-me-downs and filling out dozens of ittsy-bittsy Valentine's cards with various and odd spellings of the names of classmates, I mourn the day that my kids no longer come home from school and fill my life with opportunities to lovingly guide them into adulthood.

Homeletic Summary: Blessing as affirmation and promise

The weekly Gospel readings this February are from Matthew's "Sermon on the Mount" (which is not really a sermon at all but a rather lengthy rabbinic teaching typical of Jesus' time and place). This set of teachings, which begins with the well-known Beatitudes, come very early in Jesus' ministry against the backdrop of the beautiful, lush, Galilean countryside, and serves as the outline for the rest of the Matthew's Gospel.

To get the most out of this teaching, we must first put on our Jewish glasses in order to discern that which a 2000 year- removed, thoroughly Christianized reading simply will not yield. We must situate ourselves within the historical context of Matthew's world. We must first acknowledge that this is a Jewish text written by a very devout Jew, believed by many scholars to be a Pharisee himself, perhaps even a zealot, like Paul. This being the case we can then understand Matthew's opinions of "the Jews", as a self-criticism of the religious community which he himself is a part; not anti-semitism.

Additionally, if you are not doing the independent bible study which is currently looking at the book of Acts, then I recommend it as it greatly informs a reading of Matthew. (See St. James Facebook page, Discussions) For instance, the lesson on Acts, chapter 15 in which the Christ-followers have gathered in order to discern what it means to be a Gentile follower of the Messiah in a dominate Jewish context. Will the gentiles need to be circumcised? Do they need to follow the laws regarding food and the commandments? There is debate among scholars as to where Matthew falls in this debate - does he expect full or a comprised inclusion into this new Jewish sect which would come later to be known as Christianity. Either way, for Matthew, the followers of Christ, whether Jew or Gentile, are to live Torah - this is not debatable. And this was the conclusion reached by the Jerusalem leaders in Acts as well.

Jesus begins his teaching on the hillside to the crowds that have gathered with a series of blessing proclamations. For a visual on this just picture the faces of the people in Egypt's Liberation Square. These are people who have lived under oppression for decades and they are hoping and praying that God will send someone to them to set them free. The blessings of the Beatitudes are not to be confused with the sentiment: Don't Worry, Be Happy. Instead its an affirmation of the realities of the living conditions under Roman/Egyptian rule: poverty, persecution, lament, hopelessness. To speak of these things aloud is an act of liberation in itself. To speak, to tell the truth about the way things really are and to demand a better life is to seize freedom. This path to freedom is what they see in Jesus. They gather in large masses, ready and willing to stage a protest. They are simply waiting for a leader, a sign from God that the time had come.

But Jesus' message is not about marching into Jerusalem with sticks, spears and stones to take the city back. It is a message of patience and promise. The promise is situated in the pronouncement of blessing. To be blessed is to be given the sound assurance that God's reign will prevail. Jesus, as the agent of God, affirms their/our adversity and assures them/us that God is still working things out on their/our behalf but they/we must be patient and wait. To be blessed then is not simply about being in God's favor, it is much broader: it is the affirming reassurance of God's steadfast faithfulness to his people while they/we, wait in peaceful perseverance for God to act.

In this same way, at the end of Christian worship, when the priest or pastor gives God's blessing, it is not a noun, a thing, like a hymn, but a verb. Blessing indicates action, past, present and future all at the same time. Blessings are fluid, not statements of hope, but statements that capture God in action; a moving, living, involved and imaginative God - who both affirms the difficulty of human life while congruently assuring the coming of a different reality.

In Egypt the desire of the people is that their children will have a better life. They are aware that it will take years, perhaps decades for this to happen, but they see it as a viable possibility because there exists a foundational understanding of what it is to be blessed by God that transcends the religious boundaries of what divides Christians from Jews from Muslims. That is what the people, the Jews and the Gentiles, who came to hear Jesus wanted as well, a life of freedom and possibilities for their children. They came to hear him talk of the new reign of God in great numbers. They stayed with him for days, not even leaving to return to their jobs or to eat. Many in the crowd brought baskets of food and they shared it with their neighbors. When Jesus moved they moved. Though some miles from Jerusalem, such gatherings would have been noticed by the empire. Should there have been signs that the crowds were preparing to stage an uprising the Roman army would have put it down very quickly, as the historical records demonstrates clearly. But Jesus' message reaffirms Torah as the standard for living. The metaphors of salt and light have to do with being faithful to Torah; not the hypocritical life of Pharisees who espoused this life to the letter, but were not true to the spirit of it. Jesus' makes clear that not a single iota, the smallest character of the Hebrew alphabet, would fade away before the Law (Torah) was fulfilled. In other words, God's reign will come and it can stand against any threat; God was, is and will for ever be in charge.

Because this remains true,we can receive the full blessing of God and face anything that comes our way. Not because we are stronger, or better, or smarter, or even more willful, but because we are blessed; our hardships affirmed while being assured that the lives of our children and their children will be better than our own. And sometimes, on rare occasions, we are given a glimpse of what God's reign, the fulfillment of blessing, Torah, might look like. Amid the peaceful, turned violent, protests in Egypt, a group of Christians joined hands to create a human barricade to protect a group of Muslins at prayer from pro-regime protesters in Liberation Square. Herein lies the essence of Jesus' blessings from that Galilean hillside so many centuries ago. Herein lies a foretaste of that promised heavenly banquet. Blessed be the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God.

New Car Blessing and Curse

We recently bought a new car which concluded on a surprisingly humorous note. The setting for this final moment was set up from the beginning of the process as we got to know our Toyota salesman, Dan. Dan was very nice young man, just out of school - having only worked at the dealership for about six months. As my husband and I sat at his desk, cordially working out our 'deal' (haha), the chit-chat somehow came around to Dan's need for a new pair of glasses. Now Dan had a really good thing going, I assured him; those little, oval rimmed glasses and his short brown hair gave him the perfect Rabbi look; very trustworthy (from a pastor's point of view). From that point on, Matt and I called him Rabbi Dan.

Well, the sale went through and we set a date to pick up our new chocolate brown, loaded Rav 4, which we love shamelessly, in as much as one can love a car, which is, I confess, just short of idolatry. When we got there Dan met us to warn us that all was good, except for one thing. He apologized profusely and said he thought it must have been a joke - what are the chances of 'this' happening? He walked us around to the back of the car and showed us the license plate, which ended in 6666. He was truly horrified that of all the numerical possibilities, this plate would end up on a pastor's car. I laughed and told him that it was really fitting for me actually and that those numbers were code for: Hell on wheels, which describes me perfectly and that I took no offense. I'm not sure which was more unsettling to him, the plate or the explanation.

At any rate, the car is great and has provided a good number of laughs to those with a keen eye to find the irony of this situation. My 16 year old daughter is now driving and spends a fair number of hours behind the wheel. She now shares the legacy of a 6666 driver - I sit in the passenger seat chanting the psalms, "my mouth is as dry as pot shards," "save me O God, save me."

We recently learned that Rabbi Dan had left his position at the dealership. And we're sorry we never had the chance to tell him how much we enjoyed have such a nice sales-guy. So where ever you are Rabbi Dan - thanks so much for the laughs - we wish you the best.