Someone wrote me a word of
encouragement recently and began with the word, “then.” Then you will…. It inferred that then was now, or at least very close to now. Then was not just a point in the future at which, time would press
into the now, but rather then
supposes the next rung of a ladder. Then,
is what’s next in this very moment.
John’s Easter morning gospel is
filled with thens. Then Peter
and the disciples go to the tomb. Then Simon
Peter enters the tomb. Then the
beloved disciple believed. Then the
disciples return to their homes. Then points
to more than just chronological events. Then is a suitcase into which we are packed and unpacked at
the empty tomb. Then presses
us to accept what is in front of us, not what we hope will be, not what someone
has promised us, but simply what is now.
Then
is at the heart of Divine Mystery; the then
we know and the then we do not yet
know. To know the unknowable is the
paradox of the then that is now.
Theologian C.H. Dodd coined this as “already, but not yet.” If, on this
Easter morning, you are not too sure what to think or believe than I can assure
you that your faith is therefore sound. The disciples have faced what is known,
the Lord has gone, but they do not know. Mary has seen and spoken with the
risen Lord and yet she cannot fully know.
There has long been a place in theological discourse for agnosticism.
That is, the concession that one does not know beyond the limits of what is
known. Knowing and not knowing creates an authentic faith because it reflects
the ‘then’ that will surely come, and our inability to return from the grave to
give a full report. We believe, but we do not know. I sometimes say of myself,
if it weren’t for my skepticism I’d have no faith at all. Another way of
getting at this is the turned around phrase: I wouldn’t have seen it if I
haven’t of believed it. That is not the same as, I wouldn’t have believed it if
I hadn’t of seen it. Do you believe because you have seen? or do you see
because you believed? The assumption is that seeing is believing. But the
spiritual life begins from the assumption we cannot see into the mystery of
anything unless we possess at least a modicum of faith.
In John Shea’s Easter commentary he
tells the following story from one of Rachel Rem’s personal reflections of
counseling sessions she had a with a man in the final stages of prostate
cancer (My Grandfather’s Blessings,
Riverhead Books, 2000, 339-42). In the course of their conversations, he says,
“Rachel, I am an educated man. I must believe that death is the end. And you,
an educated woman, surely you believe that death is the end also.” But Rachel
responds that she does not know. As their sessions continue, the man continues
to raise the question and presents strong arguments for his position. However,
Rachel stands firm, saying over and over again that she just does not know. At
times seriousness of this conversation turns to joking. The man says he will
come back from the dead to visit her as a crane. She kids him back that showing
up as a great white crane is a little obvious. He agrees and changes it. “I
will do something that you will recognize.” One day after he has died, Rachel
is thinking about him as she enters an empty elevator. On the floor of the
elevator is one large and perfect white feather. She refuses to take the
feather as proof of anything. She clings to her agnostic position, but she
concludes, “The important thing is that Mystery does happen and offers us the
opportunity to wonder together and reclaim a sense of awe and aliveness.”
Rachel is describing the eternal
mystery of Easter: mystery, by definition is a form of not knowing.
Easter is the story of then’s that pull meaning from someone else’s time and
place and depositing it into our now. Then Mary weeps at the empty tomb. Then Jesus appears to her. Then she tells the others. Then we
are perplexed. Then we
wonder what this can mean. Then we
know that death is not the final word. Then we
know that we have been redeemed. Then our
knowing and not knowing are complete. Easter faith is born anew. Easter faith is at the heart of every
baptism.
This Easter day we welcome Krystal
Smith into the Christian faith and into the life of this community. The Celebration
of the Pascal Feast has always been a primary day for baptisms. For us all,
Easter is a day that invites us to shed the old way of life and make room for
the possibility of new beginnings; to watch for stirrings in our spiritual
life. Krystal desires to be received into the communion of the faithful and we
will this day pledge to support her in her Christian journey. Baptism is
ultimately about new life; the dying of self from the ways of the world which
weights everything in terms of certainty, into a community that is structured
by both knowing and not knowing. I urge you Krystal to maintain a healthy
sense of skepticism - it will keep you wary of the trickery and wickedness of
the world and provide a platform upon which you can test your young faith.
I urge you to love without condition. It may seem that skepticism and
unconditional love cannot co-exist. But these two things hold together the
tension that every Christian comes to understand as the guideposts of
discipleship; that is the ways in which we find our way through the world. It
expresses our belief that in every person exist the divinity of God; but
acknowledges that not everything that people do is Godly. God is love.
And we are called first to live that love. It is not the church that calls you
Krystal but Love itself. So you are commanded to love the people who love you
as well as those who do not return your love; to love those whom you have never
met, and those who have wronged you. This does not mean you must like them or
let anyone take advantage of you or hurt you in any way. It does mean that you
must understand that they too are on a journey. Their deeds, for good or ill,
are not your business. Revenge is not your business. Love is your business. You
are only required to balance not knowing with what you know in your heart to be
true and to show your love through acts of kindness. It is not always
easy. That is why belonging to a community that strives together for the same
end will sustain you. Krystal, we welcome you to the community of St. James
Episcopal Church, and into the world-wide Anglican Communion and into the
household of God established as the Christian Church.
