Christmas Eve: Good Luck/Bad Luck

I begin with an old and well-known Chinese fable:  There was an old man who had a farm; he was up in years and depended on his son to help him and they lived very modestly. One day the only horse that they had escaped the barn and ran off. All the neighbors came around and said to the old man: "Oh what bad luck!" The old man said, "We'll see." 

The next day the horse returned bringing with it a herd of horses. All the neighbors came around and said to the old man: "Oh what good luck!" The old man said, "We'll see."

Soon after the son was breaking in one of the horses and was thrown and broke his leg very badly, leaving him with a permanent limp. All the neighbors came around and said to the old man: "Oh what bad luck!" The old man said, "We'll see." 

A month later war broke out and the army came to take all the young men to fight. If the young man left the farm the old man would have no one to help him and he would lose the farm. But the army passed over the son because of his limp. All the neighbors came around and said to the old man: "Oh what good luck!" And all the old man said, was, "We'll see."

Whenever I hear this story I want to ask, and then what happened? What was the next bad luck event that turned to good fortune? 

This story has also framed my hearing of the Lord's birth, life, death, and resurrection. Let's play with it a bit: 

Mary, engaged to be married to Joseph, though a virgin, was with child. And the neighbors all gathered around and said, "Oh what bad luck!" And Joseph said, "We'll see." 

They were traveling when the baby came and there was no room in any house for them so they went to a barn where the animals were gathered, and there, in a barn, Mary gave birth to her son. And the people gathered around and said, "Oh what bad luck!" And the shepherds who had followed the star said, "We'll see." 

Herod heard of Jesus's birth and set out to use the Wise Men from the East to trap the young family. And the people who heard of this said, "Oh what bad luck!" But the wise men said, "We'll see."

And Jesus grew and became a wise teacher and prophet, and was revered and loved by the people in the Galilean countryside who were faithful to God and obeyed what Jesus required of them. The people proclaimed him the messiah and said to themselves, "Oh what good luck!" And the Pharisees said, "We'll see."

And it came to pass that one of the disciples betrayed Jesus into the hands of the Pharisees and he was crucified and died. The people cried out, "Oh what bad luck!" And no one said, "We'll see."

On the third day the women came to the tomb and found the stone rolled away and the body of Jesus gone. And the women exclaimed, "Oh what bad luck!" And the angel said, "We'll see." 

The disciples went home after Jesus had died and they were very sad and very afraid. And they cried out, "Oh what bad luck!" And Jesus, suddenly standing there with them, said, "We'll see." 

Framing the stories of our faith this way, beginning first with the birth of Jesus, 

    Emmanuel, 

        God-with-us, 

invites us to re-frame the stories of our lives as well. We frame our stories not in terms of Good Luck or Bad Luck, but rather as events that have meaning and purpose in the larger scheme of things. Some people, for instance, are born into conditions far worse than a stable, robbed of childhood and innocence, and yet grow up and grow beyond their circumstances. Many grow beyond self-pity and self-identity as victim, to become spiritually mature and highly influential writers and teachers, poets, prophets, artists, social activists, community advocates, healers, pastors. And when the winds of misfortune swirl around them and the crowd says, "Oh what bad luck!" they can proclaim with confidence, "We'll see." They know the sure and steady flow of Love that runs throughout good times and bad and God's abiding presence through it all. They know that there is really no luck at all; there are just the ebbs and tides of life and its cycle and the divine incarnate is in it all. 

The story of the birth of Christ invites us into patience and forbearance, far beyond the good luck, bad luck paradigm. And in those moments, when we can shrug and say with a knowing sparkle in our eye, "We'll see," then we are very close to the Kingdom indeed. 

THREE THINGS... Three things I love about Christmas

I admit that it takes me a while to get into the spirit of Christmas. The setting out of Christmas decorations the day after Thanksgiving fails to move me. Even the decorating of my own tree does not fully inspire the rising up of that familiar feel of Christmas joy and goodwill. I suppose after preaching on Advent for four weeks and being deep into the work of making the paths straight, Christmas seems somehow very distant and in a way, surreal. And then it arrives and I'm always a little surprised. 

It is not the sparkling lights of the glittering houses and trees that light up the dark streets, nor the Christmas fare in stores, nor the seasonal concerts and parties that stir me into the Christmas spirit. It is only and finally the Christmas Eve service. The annual celebrations build one upon another into a collage of warm Christmas Eve memories: the faithful gathered in song and prayer, children rubbing their eyes with sleepy yawns at midnight masses, the darkness of the sanctuary dotted with small lighted candles in wavering hands as the chorus of Silent Night rises to fill the space, followed by the raising of the lights and the triumphant exclamation sung, "Joy to the World.... let heaven and nature sing!" Then, it is then, that Christmas has arrived at last. 

Here are three things I love about Christmas. 

1. Christmas Love remembered. My favorite thing about Christmas is not a concrete thing but rather a very specific feeling. It only comes once a year and is very fragile and fleeting. It originates in memories of the Christmas's of my childhood. Sitting with my mother and brother, the church filled and people standing in the aisles, my father celebrating and preaching, I felt loved, and safe, secure and cared for in the midst of those Christmas Eve services. My mother is very old now, and my father has gone to glory - my sister too, my brother lives very far away, as do my own grown children, and yet the unspeakable, undefinable divine presence that transcends the years still wraps me in a warm blanket of knowing the Love that is God on Christmas Eve. 

2. Christmas Day memories with meditation on the Christmas Tree. There is a crispness to Christmas morning that is unlike any other day. The Love of Christmas Eve is carried into the fullness of the day. The day feels precious and I savor every moment of it. I am carried along by the memories of big family gatherings, festive meals with the fine china and crystal, and the best recipes of Gourmet magazine brought to life by my mother's finely tuned culinary skills. I was never able to replicate those holiday meals of old in my household but they live on somewhere inside me. The Christmas tree makes sense to me on this day. Before Christmas Day it was just a superficial decoration. It isn't a religious symbol of course. But it is symbolic of things that mean something to me, family, memories of Christmas's with my children and the ties that bind, the fondness of those who have passed who shared with me in the decorating of the tree, and the joy of the present moment. Sometimes I stare at it for long periods in a kind of blissful state of contentment. It isn't the materialness of the tree but the beauty and perfection of it. It has no connection to a religious understanding of the high feast of Christmas Day but I experience it as an iconic expression of the divine within the secular. I see in it the outward and visible sign of an inner and invisible presence, a manifestation of something holy, and therein, for me, on the Day of Christ's birth, takes on an almost sacramental significance. 

3. Gifting at Christmas. I very much enjoy buying and giving gifts at Christmas. To give something of value to someone else without expectation for anything in return has tremendous power. It is transformative. It resets our ordering of things in the material world aligning it more with the values of the Kingdom. When we choose a gift for someone we are focusing intently on the part of them we honor and even cherish, and is an act of goodwill as we let the rest go. This can be healing for relationships that are a bit rocky - but only if the motivation is pure. In this case, if the gift is not well-received, it does not corrupt the offering. An ungrateful recipient is then left with a unwanted gift and a hardened heart. The cynical will suspect the gift and the motive of the giver and no reconciliation will be possible. In this case, no gift can ever satisfy that person. But the one who gives freely regardless of circumstances has the benefit of an open and forgiving heart - open to the ongoing revelation of the Divine and is undeterred by either acceptance or rejection - the outcome of the giving is immaterial. How we receive a gift is as important as the giving. It speaks volumes about our relationship to Christ, to the receiving of the gifts of the Spirit, to the receiving of acts of kindness and generosity - these are not unrelated. Gifting is a spiritual practice. But at the most basic level it simply makes me happy to express Love (Love that is bigger than me) to others by way of the outward and visible signs of affection wrapped up and topped with a bow.

THREE THINGS... Three books I'm reading now

I typically read a number of books at one time. I pick the one up that I'm in the mood for. Or I have an intuitive sense that there is something in a particular book that I need to know in that moment. Books of poetry lie around my apartment (aka The Hermitage) as well for easy access. There are stacks of books on most every surface. On average I have about 10 books in progress at one time. Some of the books remain 'books in progress' for years. Some books are not meant to ever be finished. Zhuangzi (below) is one of those books. I never read the last page first of any book nor do I generally start at the beginning. 

Generally, I am not reading stories or texts with a strong narrative running throughout. I save that for audiobooks. Mostly I'm reading for spiritual learning, guidance and growth. I'm always learning so that I can teach whatever I have gleamed. I collect words in order to give them away. 

I examine words as if I'd found them as a shell washed up on the beach. Sometimes the words are faded and worn and precious because they've seen some rough weather. Sometimes they are pristine and beautiful and I wonder how they came to be together in such a brilliant sentence! Sometimes the words are salve for a wound that needs to be tended. Sometimes the words inspire to action. Sometimes the words fade from my mind as water goes through a sieve and I know that those words were not meant for me, now. 

There are many small scraps of paper around The Hermitage that have little notes on them.... words that catch my attention and I want to cling to them... or prepare to pass them along as life offers open spaces where a few helpful words could fit in. 

Sometimes the words are clarifying; clarifying things that I did not know were unclear. Sometimes the words open up new windows on to vistas never before seen. Sometimes the words give my mind something else to think about but mostly I just appreciate the beauty of words. Some carry a lot of weight; like the word Demand. Some weigh little but call us to a higher place; like the word Light. I swim in a sea of words and play there every day. 

I read what I don't understand because it forces growth and the expansion of my mind. Reading only what is clear and understandable (and agreeable!) is boring and does not inspire me to anything. I encourage you to read what you do not understand, yet.

Here are three of the books I'm playing with at the moment: 

1. The Seeds of Contemplation, Thomas Merton (1962, reprinted 2007)

The seeds that are planted in my liberty at every moment, by God's will, are the seeds of my own identity, my own reality, my own happiness, my own sanctity. 

To refuse them is to refuse everything; it is the refusal of my own existence and being: of my identity, my very self.

Not to accept and love and do God's will is to refuse the fullness of my existence. 

If I never become what I am meant to be, but always remain what I am not I shall spend eternity contradicting myself by being at once something and nothing, a life that wants to live and is dead, a death that wants to be dead and cannot quite achieve its own death because it has to exist.  (p. 33)

2. A Year with Martin Buber: Wisdom on the Weekly Torah Portion, Rabbi Dennis S. Ross (2021)

Note: Rabbi Ross is my colleague in the Interim Ministry Network. I have great respect for him and just received a copy of his book. 

That tender surface of personal life which longs for contact with other life is progressively deadened or desensitized. (Buber)

Buber teaches that companionship is the foundation of meaningful living through a novel interpretation of the classic Garden of Eden story. He recalls Rabbi Simha Bunam of Pzhysha being asked about the serpent's punishment, which at first glance might appear to be more of a reward than a curse. After all, "dirt shall you eat all the days of your life" (Gen. 3:15) means that food is always there, worry free, leaving the serpent entirely self-sufficient, without having to work for anything. Yet Rabbi Simha replies that having all you need is more of a curse than a blessing. It means never having to rely on God - or anyone else. On the contrary, he wants us to need each other, and to know that we need each other, in relationship. (p. 52)

3. Zhuangzi: The Essential Writings, translated by Brook Ziporyn (2009)

 Note: Zhuangzi is pronounced: Jon-zee; Zhuang Zhou aka Master Zhuang, ca. 369-286 BCE

Ruo of the Northern Sea said, "That cows and horses have four legs is the Heavenly. The bridle around the horse's head and the ring through the cow's nose are the Human. Hence, it is said, 'Do not use the Human to destroy the Heavenly, do not use the purposive to destroy the fated, do not sacrifice what you have attained (from Heaven) for the sake of mere names.' Hold onto this carefully, for then you can return to what is genuine in you." (p. 73)

THREE THINGS.... Three things to do before coming to worship

Worship is not like other things we do in our lives. It's a time set apart, in a place set apart, for us to connect with God through the person of Jesus Christ, to prepare ourselves for the work we are called to do in the world. We do this habitually - week after week. But what if we "pre-paved" the experience? That is, what if we did a few things to heighten our awareness and clarify our intentions around the act of worship. Here are three things you might consider doing between Saturday and Sunday morning prior to coming to worship. It may be best to start with one, and when it is integrated into your routine, move to the next one. 

1) Sit quietly for 15 minutes and imagine yourself at St. Mark's on Sunday morning. Focus on the aspect of worship that feels the most satisfying to you. Sit in that place of satisfaction until it has completely filled your heart. Be aware of your body: are you smiling as you feel the sensation of joy in this moment in the worship experience? Where in your body do you feel this happiness or joy or deep satisfaction (whatever word best describes your experience)? Put your hand on this part of your body and rest in the knowledge that you are communicating with the Spirit in this moment - it is the joy of the Spirit that you feel. Joy is the natural state of the Spirit. By doing this practice prior to worship you are tuning your mind and body, your whole self, to the mystery of the worship experience, and moving beyond the mere mechanics of it.

2) Skip the news from 7pm Saturday evening until Monday morning. Give your mind and nervous system a sabbath. Notice how this practice feels to you. Are you feeling that something big is missing? Are you having a hard time not checking the headlines on your phone? When I first began the practice of turning off the news I quickly realized that I was missing the adrenaline hit - it took a while to let peace and tranquility, the connection to the Spirit, be a bigger emotional payoff. Be intentional and disciplined about your time away from "the world" fully knowing and trusting that God's attention is fully present to every situation. 

3) Read the scripture lessons for Sunday.  You can find them on The Lectionary Page.net. Look particularly at the Gospel lesson and find it in your bible. Read several verses before the prescribed reading, and several verses after it, enough to give yourself a sense of location, audience, and of what is going on. Did the lectionary writers leave out verses? What are they? Observe one word or phrase that is in the lesson - or in the surrounding verses - or missed verses - that catches your eye. Write it down and then, quickly, without analyzing or self-censoring your thoughts, jot down a note about why it speaks to you. This practice should only take about 15 minutes.

Thank you for reading my blog and walking with me in the path of spiritual grace; for your willingness to spend this time with me as together we learn how to see and be Christ in the world. Rowena + 

THREE THINGS.... Three Ways to Reduce Stress TODAY

When stress is too high and for too long the normal benefits of small amounts of daily stress that help us to care for our personal safety swells into an overwhelming storm of stress that has harmful effects on our bodies, minds and spirits. 

The Gospel assures us that no amount of worry will add to our lifespan and that, in fact, we have no need to be anxious. (But don't tell that to an anxious person because they can't hear you in the midst of their stress storm!) When we are in a less anxious place we can take in this teaching:

Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat, or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? If then you are not able to do so small a thing as that, why do you worry about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! And do not keep striving for what you are to eat and what you are to drink, and do not keep worrying. (Luke 12:22-29)

Take a moment to assess your stress level. If you feel it is too high, take measures to reduce it for your overall and long term well-being. In this blog I recommend three ways to reduce your stress level beginning today.

1. Stop watching so much news. I urge those who are feeling highly anxious about the situations in the world to lessen the amount of time spent watching news reports and increase time spent in nature and with enjoyable activities. 15-20 minutes of news at some point during the active part of one's day (not in the early morning or within 2 hours of going to sleep) is generally sufficient to see the major headlines and have a sense of where things stand on any given day. Skip the news altogether from Saturday evening through Sunday. Focus instead on spiritual matters - spend the time you would have devoted to the news to reading from the Bible or a spiritually themed book or in meditation (see #3). I believe that you will find this a satisfying endeavor if you come at it with a sense of curiosity as to what the spirit would like to say to you through whatever text you have chosen to spend time with or in the silence you have allowed into your life.  

2. Stop mouth breathing. Observe your breathing; if you catch yourself mouth-breathing switch to nose breathing each time which changes the nervous system response from sympathetic to parasympathetic, from fight or flight to calm and non-anxious. Many people absent-mindedly mouth breath all day which triggers the body to be alert and ready to flee or fight. Through the day check to see if you are "rabbit breathing" with lots of short, shallow breaths through the mouth or are you calmly breathing long, deeper breaths through the nose? We generally don't pay much attention to our breathing but it can make a huge difference in managing stress. In the spiritual life breathing is central to connecting to the divine. It is central to many of the world's religious prayer practices. Cultivating disciplined breathing habits is a life-changer on every level. 

3. Meditate daily. Spend 15 minutes in the morning and/or evening sitting quietly with eyes closed, nose breathing, focusing only on your breath as it comes in and goes out. As your mind wanders, gently come back to your breath. Breath in. Breath out. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. The research on the benefits of mediation is endless and conclusive. There is virtually nothing even close to meditation that helps to alleviate both short and long term stress and cope with day to day anxiety as it crops up. If you have decided to take a news-free Sabbath, use the time you would have spent in front of the computer or TV sitting in meditation instead. 

Bonus:  Get a massage.  We hold stress in the tissues of our body; massage releases that stored energy and has long-term calming effects. This is well-documented. Getting massages regularly can be extremely helpful for those who experience chronic stress.

These suggestions can only be helpful in as much as they are practiced. Adopting new practices takes time and repetition. But shortly they can become part of the fabric of our lives and we are better able to cope with life's challenges as they appear. Over time these practices can play a significant role in becoming strongly rooted in the serenity of the Spirit and able to readily identify an increasingly familiar calming stillness that is ever-present and ever-accessible at the core of our being.

Note:  This article and the suggested practices are not intended to diagnose or treat any specific physical, mental or emotional condition. If you feel stress is causing you to experience a serious physical condition please contact your medical provider.   

Thank you for reading my blog and walking with me in the path of spiritual grace; for your willingness to spend this time with me as together we learn how to see and be Christ in the world. Rowena + 

THREE THINGS.... Three Ways to Approach Self-Care

I recently ripped this quote off the website of a really cool wisdom teacher I follow:

"Where ritual is absent, the young ones are restless or violent, there are no real elders, and the grown-ups are bewildered. The future is Dim." - Malidoma Some

I don't think we really need to look far to see the veracity of this statement. Ritual is foundational to the spiritual life. And self-care is foundational to the development of ritual. So when I speak of self-care, I cannot speak of it apart from ritual. The lives of Christians are highly secularized today and the topic of self-care can appear to be rather pedestrian and disconnected. But it is at the top of my list for those who have an itching sense of curiosity about the something more that calls to them amidst the chaos of life in this present moment. This blog entry is less about what you should do to care for yourself and more about how to reframe self-care as ritual and a necessary and vital part of one's daily spiritual life. 

1. Examine your current daily patterns.  All of them. What do you do everyday, from the time you first awaken in the morning to the time you fall asleep at night? Make a written list of all your patterns. For example: 

• Lie in bed before getting up and think about what I need to do that day.
  
• Eat breakfast.
  
• Do a Suduko puzzle every day.
  
• Go to a stretching class at the Y; then go to Starbucks with my YMCA friends.
  
• Read in the afternoon with a cup of tea.
  

On your list identify at least 3 things that you want to focus on transforming, at least mentally, into rituals of self-care. It is way easier to work with what you are already doing first than to try to add new "self-care" routines into your daily life. Let's take one thing from this list as examples for modification so you get the idea.

Current pattern: Lie in bed before rising and thinking. Transforming pattern to ritual: Do the same thing but be intentional about how you want to transform this pattern into a ritual. Are you thinking: "Today I have to do this and this and that...."? or are you saying to yourself, "I am really looking forward to...."? Create a disciplined ritual of only thinking positively about your day - beginning with: What's the one thing I'm really looking forward to experiencing this day? Spend some mental time with that one thing, really feeling gratitude for the opportunity to do that one thing. Thank God for your life and the ability you have to do this thing and the people who will be in your day connected to this item (even if that's just you!) Then get up. Repeat every day. Now you have a ritual that will feed your soul while creating new neural pathways in your brain for the better!  How we wake up every day sets the stage for how we live our lives. This is a good starting place for a self-care ritual. 

2. Eat like you live on planet earth. I read a blog from a pastor/counselor who was talking about self-care. He told of a recent interaction with one of his clients who was irate and highly anxious about something going on at work. The first question he asked was: Did you eat breakfast today? The answer was "No. I don't have time to eat breakfast!" His advice to his client was to eat breakfast and lunch at regular times every day for two weeks and then to call him back. The truth is, with the person's blood sugar all over the map and no established routine of eating real meals, all else was going to be a Band-Aide. We humans don't think or feel well, much less participate in life at our highest level when we don't follow the earth's/our body's natural rhythms for taking in and digesting food. Traditional wellness practices of India and Asia have for thousands of years suggested setting apart time to eat in the morning, something substantial, midday, very substantial, and early evening, light fare with a 12 hour fast overnight. They understood that we live best when we are not at odds with the planet's rhythms; our energy flows well when we are in the flow of the energy of the planet of which we were born and reside.  If your meals are all over the place or you skip meals, try to establish a ritual of taking in food being consciously aware of when the sun is rising, is high in the sky, and when it is setting. Most spiritual traditions, except Christianity (for the most part), have rituals around food; some are pretty elaborate. Fasting can also be a ritual, but it needs to be done safely and as part of an overall plan for creating health or as part of an established spiritual practice. Skipping breakfast or lunch (the two most important meals of the day) because your life is too busy does not check that box. 

3. Rethink the traditional meal blessing. The most important part of every meal - more important than what you are eating - is the prayer that precedes it. Skip the rote prayer and speak with gratitude to the food. Remember that it has a lifeforce ("prana" or "chi") that will become part of your living body. Speak gratitude to the farmers who planted and harvested and brought the food to your table; gratitude to those who harvested the food from the fields; those who slaughtered the animals on your behalf; gratitude for the plants and animals that gave their lives so you could live; gratitude for the businesses that sold the food and the long line of employees who had to handle your food to get it from the field or stockyard into your hands; speak gratitude to the cook who lovingly prepared the meal. Ritualizing this one prayer at all your meals will change your relationship with food, with the living beings on this planet and with the divine hand who provides it all. It will move food from a commodity to the reality of interconnection with God's creation and all its generous beings who live in an economy of reciprocity. While there is much attention placed on micro and macro nutrients there is nothing like a good, heartfelt prayer, to make those nutrients a blessing for your body. This is a foundational ritual for a healthy life. 

 

THREE THINGS..... Three Ways to Acknowledge and Receive Divine Love

Christians fully accept, and perhaps, at times, take for granted that the Triune God loves us, both individually and collectively, unconditionally and without exception. Young children in Sunday school through the ages have been taught: Jesus loves me, this I know, for the bible tells me so.... We see memes on Facebook, banners carried by Christians, and signs posted in front of churches that read: God Loves You. (often with the addition of No Exceptions.) God's love for us is expressed doctrinally in the work of the cross... and in the words of the Gospels... God so loved the world.... (Jn. 3:16) and in the teachings of Paul. One could rightly say that the foundation of the Abrahamic faith traditions in the canon of sacred texts is rooted in God's outpouring of love for the whole of creation. One could also rightly state that the persistent dogma of Christianity rests squarely on the doctrine: God is Love.

But most often the phrase, God Loves You, becomes an adage of the intellect more than a visceral moment to moment reality. We may accept it is true for others but how do we know this is true for ourselves? How do we experience the love of God? This post offers some suggestions to help us move Divine Love as an idea to a tangible experience, from the head to the heart, as we dare to acknowledge and receive the love of God. 

1) Sitting with Love. Sitting quietly with eyes closed, say to yourself, I give myself permission to feel God's Love in my life. In order to receive the love of God we must first believe that we are worthy of it. The church can proclaim God's Love for God's people day in a day out but it will fall flat on those unable to accept it. Many carry wounds of shame, guilt and a deep, unconscious belief that they are not worthy, they have fallen short, and cannot possibly be loved so profoundly. However, the question is not, what can I do to be in God's favor, to be worthy of God's love, rather the question is how can I acknowledge the unconditional love of the Divine as a reality in my life? It comes down to conditioning. Keep before you this verse from Isaiah: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Is. 55:8-9) Humans experience love as conditional much of the time; in fact, it is rare that it is not. But God's ways are not our ways, thankfully. God's thoughts are higher. Any assumptions about how God deals with us is based on our thought, which is not in the realm of divine thought - generated on a higher plane, not on the physical plane. Though we cannot imagine it, we can only acknowledge that God's Love is beyond our understanding and that it is good and without fail. Condition yourself to simply accept, without understanding, that God's Love envelopes you, guides you and supports you each minute of each and every day. I give myself permission to feel God's Love in my life. 

2) Ask and you shall receive. Start a "Conversations with God/Jesus/Christ/the Divine/the Creator (whatever name you wish to use) Journal." Consistency will be important for this practice. At the top of the page write: "Holy One, what would you like me to know at this moment?" Then add: "I give myself permission to receive the voice of the divine who loves me and resides within me."  Begin to write and keep writing without pausing until you feel you have received what you were intended to hear. Do not expect to hear words or a voice, but trust that you are receiving what you need through the act of writing. Read over what you have written. If anything you have written is negative, critical or not loving it simply means that your ego, your inner critic, slipped in. The words of the Divine are always loving and kind, supportive and encouraging, that is how you will know it is authentic. How do you know it's not just YOU writing to yourself, you writing what you want to hear? The Divine is speaking to us all the time but we have not been trained to discern this voice, much less to trust it explicitly. This practice assists us in understanding the closeness, the immediacy of God; the intimate care and guidance we are receiving all the time whether or not we are aware of it. Call Love into your awareness and it will materialize there. 

3) Read the mystics. Meister Eckert (d. 1328), Rumi (d. 1273) or Hafiz (d. 1589) are solid mystics to start with. These poets, who are as popular today as they have been through the centuries with Christians and non-Christians alike, express their ongoing relationship with Divine Love in playful and beautiful ways. They have taught people through the ages how to see God in every part of creation and to understand that every expression of Divinity in an expression of Love. To see Divine revelation is at once to become a part of it. Here's a sample from Hafiz: 

How did the rose

Ever open its heart

And give to this world 

All its Beauty?

It felt the encouragement of light

Against its Being,

Otherwise, we all remain 

Too Frightened.

(The Gift, Poems by Hafiz The Great Sufi Master,

translation by Daniel Ladinsky)

Thank you for reading my blog and walking with me in the path of spiritual grace; for your willingness to spend this time with me as together we learn how to see and be Christ in the world. Rowena + 

THREE THINGS.... Three Reasons to Add a Fourth Leg to the Three-Legged Stool

First, I have included a link in this introductory paragraph so that you might learn or refresh your memory as to the famous and foundational Three-Legged Stool of Anglicanism by theologian Richard Hooker. The three legs are Traditional, Scripture and Reason. This theological framework is basic to every confirmation class and Intro to the Episcopal Church and is worth revisiting now and again, never more so than in this present time of transition and opportunity within the Episcopal Church. Here is a one page summary to be reviewed before moving on: https://www.gracemuskogee.org/2020/08/14/the-three-legged-stool/. 

The fourth leg I propose to be added is that of Experience. Why is this important? Because by standing firmly on only Tradition, Scripture and Reason we do not acknowledge real shifts in culture - the way in which people are searching for the experience of the Divine in their day to day lives, in their communal life, and in their worship. What everyone knows for certain about the existing church is that it is rooted in tradition - our many old and grand buildings of 150 years or more testify to this, as do all the celebrated (and beautiful) trappings of those buildings. What everyone knows is that the Bible is foundational for the whole of Christendom and for the Episcopal Church in particular whose Book of Common Prayer is framed and weighted with Holy Writ. What anyone knows who has spent time in the church's traditional worship and its educational offerings is that Episcopalians are thoughtful people who have long-standing reasoned doctrines; we are good at explaining the faith, at framing it within 2000 years of scripture and tradition. None of these things is up for grabs. But there is a reason Episcopalians are referred to as "the frozen chosen." It's time to add the fourth leg of Experience. 

1. Spirituality has shifted from the Intellectual to the Experiencial. It wasn't that long ago that congregations were quite satisfied with knowledge; that is, doctrines and theology, church history and biblical study (hermeneutics and exegesis). Knowledge of things religious has been generally accepted as a form of piety. Apologetics is undeniably heady stuff. But as culture has changed, and with it the make-up of Episcopal congregations, it has become clear that knowledge/reason alone does not quench spiritual appetites as it once did. Many people in the church today want to have the experience of God in their lives; not just the evidence of answered prayer; much less to read a paper on efficacy of prayer, but the satisfaction of feeling that they have met with the very presence of God in the act of prayer. Of course people have always had spiritual experiences; the music and art of the church bears witness, and scripture itself is a testimony of the experience of the divine. Further, there is an entire library of Christian mystics whose poignant words capture our curious imaginations lead us into awe and wonder by association. But mystical experiences of the Divine have not historically been as well known, studied, or promoted within parish life as the three legs of tradition, scripture and reason that support the church's historical identity. 

2. The mass exodus from mainline churches testifies to the missing leg. Many in the church remain bewildered at why people have left or why there are so many people who have no interest whatsoever in exploring traditional Christian mainline religious offerings, whatever the flavor. For many years I heard from within church walls that it was the Sunday sporting practices and games that were taking away the kids and their parents. Before that it was the opening of stores for shopping on Sundays - that the Sabbath day had been subverted. Secular culture was blamed. But the fact is, people increasingly make the choice for themselves to go elsewhere on Sunday mornings. I believe that the church did not understand to what extent that what people wanted was to really, really experience God within the context of Sunday morning. Big Box or Megachurches fill their mammoth buildings with thousands every Sunday, despite the ball games of their children and open malls, because what they are offering is an experience. We might argue about content in favor of our own biases but talk to the people who attend these services and what they report is not how much they learned or how they had come to a reasoned faith but rather they describe the worship experience as a spiritual experience in and of itself. I do not wish to knock out the three legs and establish a single, solitary and unstable leg of experience primarily, which may well prove to be a deficit in the mega church culture in the long run, but I do think that we Episcopalians might pay attention to what is evidenced in front of our eyes. 

3. Yes. And.... Warning: Some of what I write here will be hard to read. Episcopal liturgies are beautiful. Yes. And, they are outdated in many respects and in need of revision. Episcopal hymnody is as familiar to those who grew up in the church as a loved relative; favored, savored and sacred. Yes. And... To most people outside the church walls, while is lovely to some it is to others unfamiliar and dated, stiff, stale and uninspiring. The church's cathedrals and grand buildings of the 18th and 19th centuries are sacred monuments grounded in scripture, tradition and reason; they are beloved testimonies to the church's place in society and religious life. Yes. And... the cost of maintaining those buildings cannot be sustained; the costs have skyrocketed and the money isn't there anymore. The foothold the Episcopal church once held in the religious landscape has shifted dramatically. Yes. And.... I believe that Michael Curry, in his role as presiding bishop is leading the church into a new day; a new day led by the experience of Becoming Beloved Community in the midst of the dissolution of much of what went before. Additionally, as Stephanie Spellers (author of The Church Cracked Open) spells out quite clearly and succinctly, we did not arrive at this place in our history innocently. There is much within Episcopal tradition to be questioned, and much to reconcile and yet the three legged stool has its place. Yes. And.... it must now be equally balanced by Experience; the experience of forgiveness, the experience of gratitude; the experience of the divine: the experience of the inner witness, the experience of inner knowing, the experience of the inner compass, the experience of the inner voice, the experience of the inner guide, the experience of inner wisdom, the experience of the inner lover of souls, the experience of the inner seer of the unseen, the experience of inner calm in a sea of worldly chaos and disorder, and the experience of inner wonderment in the midst of worldly conflict, division, violence and broken bonds of trust. 

Thank you for reading my blog and walking with me in the path of spiritual grace; for your willingness to spend this time with me as together we learn how to see and be Christ in the world. Rowena + 

THREE THINGS... Three Habits to Break When You Are At Worship

Coming to church with regularity is an important religious ritual for many people. It is an easy thing to walk into the sanctuary and fall into simple routines and habits that, even after just a few weeks, much less years of repetition, makes being at church just as comfortable as sitting on the couch watching a favorite show. But the purpose of worship is actually not to be so comfortable that we know it like the back of our hand. The role of worship as a spiritual practice, for that is what it is, is to gently wake us up to another reality that is different from the one we move around in at all other times during the week; it is to wake us up to a higher consciousness, Christ Consciousness, or that which the gospels refer to as the Kingdom of God. This process is subtle, however, and while we do not invoke it necessarily, we do indeed invite it by adopting a posture of reception so that the Spirit may do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. We do not awaken, we are awakened. The comfortable habits we adopt are not spiritual aids but can instead be spiritual blockages. Habits that lull our senses close us off instead of opening us up. Small routines that we are very attached to mirror patterns of rigidity that exist into other parts of our lives. So here are a few habits to consider breaking when next you attend worship:

1. Sit in a new place. You won't like it. But do it anyway. Observe your discomfort. Observe your new perspective from that seat, what can you see and hear clearly from this new location? What have you gained? What have you lost? Sit in that place for a few weeks until you notice it is becoming comfortable. Move to another place. Repeat. After a few months go back to "your old seat." What did you gain? What have you lost? 

2. Engage someone you don't know well in conversation. We are creatures of habit. In the same way we tend to sit in the same pew, we also tend to gravitate to people who are familiar and who we perceive are "like" us. Before or after worship, strike up a conversation, even a very brief one, with someone you have rarely or perhaps never have talked with at length. Silently, offer a gift of gratitude for this person. Later, write down three things you liked about this person and ways you are different. Sit with those three things and ask yourself how they remind you of you (even the things you initially identify as clear differences). Don't try to rush the answer; hence, the 'sit with it' instruction. Why do you think you chose that particular person to engage with? The outer world we experience is a mirror. Learning to read the mirror is an excellent spiritual practice. We cannot see ourselves and are poor judges of how we are perceived by others. For instance, the only way we can see our shadow side is to read the mirror of ourselves as it is revealed to us by the people we engage with. In this practice the mirror will reveal parts of ourselves we may be tempted to judge harshly. Observation is all that is necessary for spiritual transformation. Judgment either of others or self (after a time you will see it's the same thing) is not a spiritual aid and will not serve you well. Try appreciation instead as a path to Love, a door by which to enter the Kingdom.

3. Stand when you normally kneel and kneel when you normally stand during these prayers.... There is a particularly damaging tendency of religious people that all Christians should be familiar with and that is spiritual materialism. It is when we attach to particular rituals in worship and believe them to be "the right/proper way" of doing the parts of worship. Everyone is susceptible to this unfortunate tendency and plays in it from time to time. However, there is only one "right way" in the context of religious worship and that is to walk through the doors and be there. That, in itself, requires courage because it invites vulnerability/openness to the Spirit. Whether we sit or stand or kneel is a far second in importance to the work of showing up. If you always kneel at the Prayers of the People or at the Eucharistic Prayer, stand instead or vice versa. Standing for prayer is as acceptable as kneeling, sitting or lying prostrate - all currently observed in the Orthodox Church. Pews were invented by Protestants only 500 years ago to allow congregations to listen to long sermons. But for the first 1500 years Christians stood or sat for much of the worship. If you feel you simply can't do this because it's not the way you were taught or you've always done it this way.... I invite you to keep working at #1 and come back to this in time.  

THREE THINGS.... Three ways to increase your critical thinking skills

We all have biases. And while there is a good side to that, especially for us! - as we routinely gravitate toward all things familiar and safe, biases also create blind spots. As we navigate day to day life it is our biases, most of the time, that inform us as to what we believe and what new information we are willing to consider. Biases are present in systems as well, that is, in communities. Taken to an extreme, communities can have such strong biases they become "closed systems." In such communities, everyone who "belongs" knows how things work and everyone agrees on the beliefs within that community. Outsiders are excluded, shunned and often outright rejected... sometimes subtly and sometimes violently. In an "open system" the community as a whole is curious and flexible and open to new information; the hallmarks of an open system are creativity, hospitality and innovation. Below are three ways to begin to think critically, beginning with educating ourselves about the roles of biases, and what role they play for us personally and in the communities with which we associate. 

1. Get to know your biases. A couple of years ago Richard Rohr and Brian McLauren teamed up to do a podcast through the Center for Action and Contemplation on biases and how they affect the spiritual life that I highly commend to you:  https://cac.org/podcast/learning-how-to-see/. Know thyself.

2. Make honesty your best friend.  Being a naturally curious person and eternal student I am always seeking out new voices for my library (which includes far more podcasts, audio books, webinars, and youtube videos than actual books these days). One of the people who has really rocked my world is Byron Katie and her methodology of determining reality that she calls "The Work." There are four questions to ask about every situation. The first two which apply to my purpose here are: Is it true? followed by, Can you know absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, that it is true? Because we are biased we often side with opinions and beliefs about things, all kinds of things, because we hear it from sources we find credible, or people who line up with our philosophies or religiosity, or media sources we enjoy, etc. Sometimes we parrot things that the culture says is true only to find out later that it was never true. Worse, we believe things about other people, even people we care about, because we have been shaped by our histories, our biases, and we make assumptions that become truth for us. But are our beliefs actually true? Sometimes we cling to untrue beliefs because we feel protected from looking at what might be true about us. With brutal honesty Byron Katie says about her life before The Work, "Everything that came out of my mouth was a lie." Love requires that when we point the finger at the other we must examine the other four fingers pointing back at ourselves. Love requires asking: Is it true?

3. Move from listening to observing. Interpersonal communications is the playground of spiritual exploration. At the intersection of communication between humans and the spiritual life there is a lot of emphasis on deep listening - and it is certainly important. But even more useful for the critical mind is learning to listen as an observer, not as an arbitrator of right and wrong. Observe your inner voice and inclination to resist anything and everything that doesn't fit into your worldview, beliefs or biases. Observe both your inner and outer responses. Are you agreeing? To what are you agreeing? Are you defending? What exactly are you defending? Are you unsure how to respond? What is going on in you to create ambivalence? Observe is the key word here. Just observe, as if you were a witness to a scene in a movie. Observers don't have opinions, they are just observing; they don't have a stake in the game. God observes us every minute of every day. God does not say: You're just wrong! The point I am trying to make is summed up best by the beloved Sufi poet Rumi who wrote: 

"Out beyond right-doing and wrong-doing there is a field. I'll meet you there." 

Thank you for reading my blog and walking with me in the path of spiritual grace; for your willingness to spend this time with me as together we learn how to see and be Christ in the world. Rowena + 

THREE THINGS.... Three reasons to read the mystics

Mystic, prophet, author, activist, and Trappist monk, Thomas Merton (d. 1968) said (and I paraphrase): If you don't know the difference between pleasure and joy then you have not yet begun to live. This is decidedly a mystic's perspective. Here are three reasons I recommend reading the mystics.

1. The mystics open us up like nothing else. The magical thing about the mystics is that you don't have to "study" them. You only need to read them. Or as it may be available, you can listen to them on Youtube. Read or listen to a bit of the mystics every day and observe the emergence of 

a curious lack of need for understanding that grows into the knowledge of the well-being of all things (Julian of Norwich)

a boundless heart that seeks only to be in the presence of God in those poems that are infecting your life

a sudden Love of the people you meet who are not actually strangers at all but pieces of yourself that you have grown eyes to recognize with Love 

and a joy that lifts you off your feet though pleasure is no where to be found. 

2. The mystics teach us how to escape the trap of dualism. Richard Rohr, a living mystic in our own time, points out that when we are trapped in dualism we cannot go anywhere spiritually (my words). In this link, Rohr offers a 30 min. lesson on non-dualism. Rohr is one of my teachers and I highly recommend him to everyone in the church today who is serious about transcending the dualistic traps of culture and moving into "another" place mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, that is, moving into Love. This is the not the work of growing in faith, but rather, just growing up. When we grow up we realize that we must make a choice: Do we want to be right? or Do we want to be in relationship?  God is in the relationship business and cares not for satisfying the ego.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EHe6tppkX0

3. The mystics are where we want to be. There is a saying that suggests that if you want to aspire to grow spiritually you must find a mentor or teacher to guide you who is farther ahead on the journey than you are. And when you find that person ask them what they are reading. Read that. 

In the case of they mystics, read what they have written. 

I leave you with this sample:

NO MORE LEAVING 

(by Hafiz, d. 1389, Persian poet)

At

Some point

Your relationship 

With God

Will

Become like this:

Next time you meet Him in the forest

Or on a crowded city street

There won't be anymore

"Leaving."

That is,

God will climb into 

Your pocket.

You will simply just take

Yourself

Along!

Thank you for reading my blog and walking with me in the path of spiritual grace; for your willingness to spend this time with me as together we learn how to see and be Christ in the world. Rowena + 

THREE THINGS.... Three Ways to Honor Others with Words Spoken and Words Unspoken

I am a huge fan of audiobooks. Louise Penny is one of my favorite authors in the mystery genre. Her infamous Inspector Gamache is as much a wise sage and spiritual teacher as he is the head of Canada's leading Police Agency. As many of us know who read books in a series, the places become as familiar as our own neighborhoods; the characters as beloved as members of our families. Inspector Gamache and his village characters are such an example. Early in the series, Gamache had some advice for the new graduates of the police academy as they begin their people-serving careers. I find his advice excellent for everyone; it is especially poignant for those who employ spiritual practices as disciples for daily living. Here are three disciplines from the good Inspector in regards to what comes forth from our mouths as we seek to honor and uphold the dignity of every person. I pair this advice with James 3:5-12:

So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great exploits. How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is placed among our members as a world of iniquity; it stains the whole body, sets on fire the cycle of nature, and is itself set on fire by hell. For every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species, but no one can tame the tongue—a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and brackish water? Can a fig tree, my brothers and sisters, yield olives, or a grapevine figs? No more can salt water yield fresh.

1. When preparing to speak consider: Is it kind? Nice is not always kind, but kindness is always nice. Many can put on the veil of nicety, but if veiled only, it cannot be sustained and the unkind will show through in short order. "No more can salt water yield fresh." But kindness is authentic and true with no need for the social expectation of nicety. "Can a fig tree, my brothers and sisters, yield olives, or a grapevine figs?" When next you feel the urge to speak to anyone (from spouse, child to stranger), ask yourself, Is what I am about to say kind? Or is what is about to come out of me a veiled nicety that I do not feel genuinely? Am I speaking from Love or do I speak from my need to be right, to justify, to make myself important, or to lord myself over the Other? When you feel Love, genuine affection, despite disagreement or distrust, then speak. 

2. When preparing to speak consider: Is it true? We often wax eloquently about things of which we know not. We parrot what others say, go along with the crowd, without doing our own research to conclude truth beyond a reasonable doubt (and there is usually a lot of doubt when it comes to veracity.) We hear something about someone and we pass it along assuming that we were correctly informed. (See point 3.) "How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! And the tongue is a fire." In truth, there is little beyond what we know within our own experience that can be said to be absolutely true. 

3. When preparing to speak consider: Does it need to be said? "I told you so," is an obvious example of things that don't need to be said. Observe conversations and in a non-judgmental way (only as a witness) assess for yourself what really needed to be said. I think you'll observe a lot of unnecessary commentary. Apply this to your own speech. From our ecocentric understanding of the universe we think others need to hear what we have to say. Do they? They'll be better off when we have enlightened them! Will they? "With [the tongue] we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God."  

When we stop to reconsider our next verbal offering within the framework of: Is it kind? Is it true? Does it need to be said?, there is far less for us to say and far more opportunity to listen in Love. 

Thank you for reading my blog and walking with me in the path of spiritual grace; for your willingness to spend this time with me as together we learn how to see and be Christ in the world. Rowena + 

THREE THINGS.... Three reasons to study the book The Church Cracked Open

Here are three good reasons to read The Church Cracked Open: Disruption, Decline, and New Hope for Beloved Community by Stephanie Spellers.

1. The church has entered into a time of massive transformation and everyone is invited to participate. Do you remember seeing or hearing about the Left Behind series some years back? It was based on Matthew 24:40-41(also found in Luke): "Then two men will be in a field: one will be taken and one will be left. Two women will be grinding at the mill: one will be taken and one will be left." (I do not recommend the movie or the book series, by the way.) I have been thinking of this passage lately as I reflect on the church's history leading up to this moment and to the infinite number of possibilities that are before it. The impetus of the Left Behind movie was fear; fear of God's retribution, of being "left behind" on the Day of Judgment: Get with the program or be left behind! Far from the fictional "Left Behind," the theme is playing out in real life for the church at this moment: It is being left behind, not by God, but by a post-Christian culture. There is no amount of playing with the statistics to deny this reality. But there is another kind of left behind that we might focus on and that is how the decline of the church is forcing self-examination and leading to transformation, to something new. I have been participating in the Becoming Beloved Community Wisdom Practice Circles via Zoom since last spring. The circle is made up largely of laity with a few clergy and a number of people who still call the Episcopal Church home but no longer find the worship fulfilling or relevant - they do church in the circle each week - and report that it meets their needs far more at this point. I find this an interesting phenomenon. The circle has no set liturgy but it is based on the four-fold path of Becoming Beloved Community as set forth by +Michael Curry, the Episcopal Presiding Bishop. This fall it is clear that the text, The Church Cracked Open is a companion in the work of transforming Christian community within the practice circles. Each day, as a member of the clergy, I am stretched as I explore the edges of tradition and traditional piety where the tears are showing and new threads are being woven through. It is unfamiliar to me and not always comfortable. So I try to relax as I identify my own rigid concepts and replace anxiety with curiosity. Instead of being afraid of what it means to be left behind in this great period of transformation I think that it might be more useful if we choose to be actively engaged in the Big Change. The Church Cracked Open helps us see ourselves not as victims of either our past or the cultural forces shaping the present moment but rather invites us into the possibilities of the future/now as full participants.  

2. The questions we are asking are more important than the certainty we think we need. Quotes from The Church Cracked Open:

"Those who are cowards will ask, "Is it safe?"

Those who are political will ask, "Is it expedient?"

Those who are vain will ask, "Is it popular?"

But those who have a conscience will ask, "Is it right?" (Paul Washington, black priest and activist, d.1987) (p. 83). 

Which question do I ask?

".... a whole cloud of witnesses: faithful people who risked and lost in the eyes of the world but gained a glimpse of God's beloved community. They can teach us now, if we are willing to listen and if we want beloved community more than peace, propriety, and protection. They are whispering and calling. Now is the hour. Let it crack. Let it go." (p. 86)  

What do we want?

"Followers of Jesus don't stand still, and we don't stay at the center waiting for centripetal force to draw all the people and resources inside to us. We go out beyond comfort, knowing and certainty. We go when and where the Holy Spirit sends us." (p. 130)  

Are we willing to move beyond the comfortable and the familiar? 

"What cost am I/are we willing to bear?" (p. 104)

3. Contemplation and Action are the two poles of the evolving church. Wherein Word and Table have been, and remain today, as the two poles of Episcopal weekly liturgy for the last 50 years as established by the 1979 Book of Common Prayer, it appears to me that the evolving "church" (not in the traditional sense) is gravitating toward the poles of contemplation and action. Fr. Richard Rohr, as only one example, set these two poles spinning with his long-time and hugely popular and transformative website: The Center for Contemplation and Action. This is to say that Word and Table are central to the life of the established Church and are important for those who attend worship and are not open to debate. But those who hold to a broader sense of spirituality, who do not attend worship or belong to a parish, and are not wed to the tradition and significance of Word and Table by choice, are also choosing spiritual and religious expressions that embrace Contemplation and Action as the two poles by which they find meaning. The Church Cracked Open is an invitation to think, to contemplate, both individually and communally, about the moorings of our institution and why they no longer hold for a large segment of the culture. It is also an invitation to move into action; which may be as simple as participation in a book study or the more strenuous effort of writing the book.

Thank you for reading my blog and walking with me in the path of spiritual grace; for your willingness to spend this time with me as together we learn how to see and be Christ in the world. Rowena + 

THREE THINGS.... Three reflections on the anniversary of my ordination

On Friday, December 3, I celebrated my 18th anniversary of ordained life. I came to ministry later in life and as a third career. I started out owning a small graphic design business and gradually a print shop. As a second career I worked as a case manager for the chronically mentally ill and then as an in-home child abuse prevention counselor, later the program manager. My three years of theological education at Sewanee (The School of Theology at the University of the South) with my young family were some of the sweetest years of my life. My recent trip back for Alumni Homecoming was a delightful trip down memory lane. I was ordained to the diaconate in July of 2003 in Orlando, FL, in my then home diocese, and to the priesthood six months later in Hilton Head, SC. Here are but a few reflections on my experience of ordained life.

1)  Why was I called to this? While I come from a family of priests, with a bishop back there in the late 1800's, I was the first woman to be ordained to the priesthood. For this reason and others, I never envisioned my path replicating that of my relatives, so in my mind, what lay before me after seminary was a blank slate. In other words, I had no preconceived fantasies about the priesthood. I was just curious; I wondered where the trail would lead and was open to the process of that leading. There is always a reason to be led to a particular place at a particular time but it isn't often discerned until one is in the midst of it; it is revealed when the time is right. 

I had worked without experiencing gender discrimination for nearly two decades in the secular world before I became a priest and it honestly never occured to me that it would be an issue. Ignorance is bliss... until one is no longer ignorant. My time in SC was a rude awakening. Seminary had been like living in a beautiful dream and landing in a diocese that I experienced as unfriendly to female clergy was like being shaken awake to an unpleasant reality. As one of my male colleagues, who was himself a gay priest, and knew a thing or two about discrimination in the church, said to me early on: "I feel badly for women in the priesthood. The truth is you'll have to work twice as hard as a man in the same position; always proving your worth. And you'll be judged and criticized for things no man would ever be." I found this to be true; sometimes in a very subtle ways and sometimes in more obvious ways. As time went on I began to chronically overfunction in my role to gain approval, which of course would never be granted, and experienced failing health and broken relationships. After a long while and a lot of pain, I found the antitote simple: Be true to God's leading and faithful to the Canons and that is enough. My experiences have made me more aware and sensitive to the subtle but real discrimination experienced by those who work outside of the perceived "norm" and guarded biases. Perhaps that is why I am so drawn to the work of Becoming Beloved Community; it gives me a place to say legitimately: Let's clean up our house. In a wider, more general sense, it is one of the revealings to the question: Why was I called to this?

2) 25% of ordained clergy leave the ministry in the first 5 years. Ordained life is not for the faint of heart. I came very close to being part of the 25%. But out of a time of crisis came new training for transitional ministry certification and a trip to Israel for pastoral renewal. I stayed at the work and learned a lot about how to weather hard times, what to take lightly and what to take seriously. In many ways I grew up. I learned to take prayer and meditation seriously. I learned to take study seriously. I learned to take self-care seriously. I learned to take continuing education and coaching seriously. I learned to take the value of collegial relationships seriously. I learned to let go of the trappings of religious life. I am still learning; daily I am learning what to take seriously and what to let go of. The daily practice of attending to the foundational practices of the spiritual life and the letting go of both secular and spiritual materialism has made me a better pastor, teacher and critical thinker. Ordained life has given me a clearer understanding that the crises we face here on the physical plane are doorways by which we enter into the Kingdom. Each challenge is simply another opportunity for growth and an invitation to explore things yet unknown. 

3) Transformation is the whole point. I've been preaching now for 20 years - counting the years of field ed in seminary. It took writing a lot of sermons and a lot of hours of study and a lot of continuing education to get to this one central truth: Transformation is the whole point. I remember so clearly hearing a sermon given by my then bishop, Bob Gepert, (who would years later become and remains my clergy coach) during a pastoral visit to my then parish of St. James many years ago, that refocused my inner spiritual compass. I heard him talk about transformation - that the whole point of the gospels, all the teachings of Jesus, the work of the cross and the resurrection - it was all for the purpose of our transformation; to the end that we become Christ-like by way of our devotion to living a Christ-centered life. It took me a while to begin to grasp this concept. A long while, and I'm still grasping. It sounds simple and plainly obvious, I know. But I've found that, in fact, it's not simple, or plainly obvious, for most people. The institutional church makes religious life pretty complicated a lot of the time. But the ultimate lesson of Jesus's teachings is very simple: We must die in order to be born. We tend to want to be born without dying. But that's not how it works. We fear being transformed because whoever gains their life must first lose it. When I was ordained I did not realize it was a kind of dying, the giving up of a different kind of life. Nearly 20 years later, I have some clarity about that. The question, Why was I called to this? is actually a declaration of dying to be born to something. It is a statement of surrender. It is a statement of transformation. It is the question that begins the dying process. It is a response to God's beckoning call to follow in the path set before us. It is the first question of the day of every faithful Christian.

Thank you for reading my blog and walking with me in the path of spiritual grace; for your willingness to spend this time with me as together we learn how to see and be Christ in the world. Rowena + 

THREE THINGS..... Three concluding thoughts on Mark

As we leave the Liturgical year of Mark I want to review a few of the highlights from our communal study of the proclamation of the Good News in Jesus Christ. 

1. Mark is a war-time document. Many scholars place Mark in or very near the year 70AD, the final year of the Jewish Revolt of 66 that culminated in the destruction of the second temple. 

The destruction of the temple did not come about from some outside invading force but rather was the brutal end of decades of Jewish uprisings against their Roman oppressors. The witness of Mark's Gospel account suggests that the Jewish unrest may have been further agitated by the oppression of the Pharisaic leadership of the time who were almost certainly in allegiance with the Romans. Concessions had to be made to Rome in order to continue the long-standing agreement between the Empire and the Jewish nation: Rome protected the Jews from outside nations who had threatened to annihilate them over the centuries and allowed them to have their temple and live religiously without persecution. But as the decades went by the relationship deteriorated and Rome became a domineering oppressor. A brief historical account is captured here: 

A Jewish diaspora had migrated to Rome and to the territories of Roman Europe from the land of Israel, Anatolia, Babylon and Alexandria in response to economic hardship and incessant warfare over the land of Israel between the Ptolemaic and Seleucid empires from the 4th to the 1st centuries BCE. In Rome, Jewish communities thrived economically. Jews became a significant part of the Roman Empire's population in the first century CE, with some estimates as high as 7 million people.

Roman general Pompey conquered Jerusalem and its surroundings by 63 BCE. The Romans deposed the ruling Hasmonean dynasty of Judaea (in power from c. 140 BCE) and the Roman Senate declared Herod the Great"King of the Jews" in c. 40 BCE. Judea proper, Samaria and Idumea became the Roman province of Iudaea in 6 CE. Jewish–Roman tensions resulted in several Jewish–Roman wars between the years 66 and 135 CE, which resulted in the  destruction of Jerusalem and the Second Temple and the institution of the Jewish Tax in 70 (those who paid the tax were exempt from the obligation of making sacrifices to the Roman imperial cult). (Wikipedia)

As we read Mark with the knowledge of the history between Rome and the Jewish nation and the timing of the war and its devastating effects on the Jewish people we begin to see the Gospel in a new light. Mark's proclamation of the Messiah was a shining light of hope, a call to redemption in the tradition of Isaiah and the Babylonian exile (and return to their land) in a time of desolation and utter despair. Jesus came upon the scene at a very volatile time in Jewish history; that not one stone would be left standing was a prophetic vision all too real at the time of Mark's writing.

2. Mark calls us to a change of heart and a return to the Lord. If all you know about Mark is this one thing then that is well enough. While all the Gospels call the people of God back to covenantal relationship with God, Mark does it with a shrill voice at breakneck speed. He was living in a world that most of us cannot imagine. The infant Christian community had experienced decades of rebellion that culminated into a full blown war and the widespread public tortures and persecutions of anyone who Rome felt had offended their rule of law. It is clear Mark felt that the end-times were very near, indeed, and by all accounts, the world as he knew it was ending. With the fall of Jerusalem the great diaspora would begin; from death came new life. But it would be a long while before stability began to replace chaos. The call for repentance was given with urgency in the midst of disruption and destruction - the time is now - return to the Lord! In the midst of radical violence there was a call to radical Love. We continue to live in turbulent times - different players, different situations - but the call to return to Love remains and with no less urgency.

3. Mark calls religious establishments to account. The call of Jesus in Mark to the established church of his time is to repent of its transgressions and return to right action, right relationship both with God and with God's people. In verse 12:41 Jesus sits opposite to the treasury and in verse13:3 he sits opposite the temple. That is, given the context, he sits in opposition to both the temple and its treasury; in opposition to its hypocrisy and oppressive practices; its fall out of God's favor.  Throughout Mark, Jesus is in open conflict with the Jewish leaders of his generation.  These religious leaders and Spiritual teachers had a profound responsibility to be honest and to have integrity. But in many cases they were not living up to the responsibilities inherent in their vocational calls and this hypocrisy and corruption infected the entire institution. The sure sign of a failed religious institution: Ambition and struggle replaces faithfulness and ongoing discernment/growth/change. 

When Christian community is living up to its collective vocational and missional call to hear and respond to the Word of God in the time and place it is proclaimed, curiosity and awe replace both ambition and struggle; there exist a counter-cultural reordering of values: Inspiration becomes more important than ambition. Trust in the flow of the Spirit replaces anxiety and strategic planning. Communities who are led by the Spirit are curious to discover the newest next thing and are open to possibilities, knowing that there are an infinite number of possibilities in the field of all possibilities (Dispenza) Spirit-led communities know that they are co-creators with the Divine - and are excited and inspired! Care for the wellbeing of others, that is, discerning how to help others help themselves (building mutually beneficial relationships as opposed to the general gifting of material goods) becomes a core value. Living in a covenantal relationship with the Cosmic Christ (Fox, Rohr) requires both the individual members and the community to take seriously its profound responsibility for integrity and authentic return to Love that Jesus prescribes. 

Can you catch the vision that Jesus casts for God's people in Mark?

Thank you for reading my blog and walking with me in the path of spiritual grace; for your willingness to spend this time with me as together we learn how to see and be Christ in the world. Rowena +