THREE THINGS.... Three Ways to Honor Others with Words Spoken and Words Unspoken

I am a huge fan of audiobooks. Louise Penny is one of my favorite authors in the mystery genre. Her infamous Inspector Gamache is as much a wise sage and spiritual teacher as he is the head of Canada's leading Police Agency. As many of us know who read books in a series, the places become as familiar as our own neighborhoods; the characters as beloved as members of our families. Inspector Gamache and his village characters are such an example. Early in the series, Gamache had some advice for the new graduates of the police academy as they begin their people-serving careers. I find his advice excellent for everyone; it is especially poignant for those who employ spiritual practices as disciples for daily living. Here are three disciplines from the good Inspector in regards to what comes forth from our mouths as we seek to honor and uphold the dignity of every person. I pair this advice with James 3:5-12:

So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great exploits. How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is placed among our members as a world of iniquity; it stains the whole body, sets on fire the cycle of nature, and is itself set on fire by hell. For every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species, but no one can tame the tongue—a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and brackish water? Can a fig tree, my brothers and sisters, yield olives, or a grapevine figs? No more can salt water yield fresh.

1. When preparing to speak consider: Is it kind? Nice is not always kind, but kindness is always nice. Many can put on the veil of nicety, but if veiled only, it cannot be sustained and the unkind will show through in short order. "No more can salt water yield fresh." But kindness is authentic and true with no need for the social expectation of nicety. "Can a fig tree, my brothers and sisters, yield olives, or a grapevine figs?" When next you feel the urge to speak to anyone (from spouse, child to stranger), ask yourself, Is what I am about to say kind? Or is what is about to come out of me a veiled nicety that I do not feel genuinely? Am I speaking from Love or do I speak from my need to be right, to justify, to make myself important, or to lord myself over the Other? When you feel Love, genuine affection, despite disagreement or distrust, then speak. 

2. When preparing to speak consider: Is it true? We often wax eloquently about things of which we know not. We parrot what others say, go along with the crowd, without doing our own research to conclude truth beyond a reasonable doubt (and there is usually a lot of doubt when it comes to veracity.) We hear something about someone and we pass it along assuming that we were correctly informed. (See point 3.) "How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! And the tongue is a fire." In truth, there is little beyond what we know within our own experience that can be said to be absolutely true. 

3. When preparing to speak consider: Does it need to be said? "I told you so," is an obvious example of things that don't need to be said. Observe conversations and in a non-judgmental way (only as a witness) assess for yourself what really needed to be said. I think you'll observe a lot of unnecessary commentary. Apply this to your own speech. From our ecocentric understanding of the universe we think others need to hear what we have to say. Do they? They'll be better off when we have enlightened them! Will they? "With [the tongue] we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God."  

When we stop to reconsider our next verbal offering within the framework of: Is it kind? Is it true? Does it need to be said?, there is far less for us to say and far more opportunity to listen in Love. 

Thank you for reading my blog and walking with me in the path of spiritual grace; for your willingness to spend this time with me as together we learn how to see and be Christ in the world. Rowena + 

THREE THINGS.... Three reasons to study the book The Church Cracked Open

Here are three good reasons to read The Church Cracked Open: Disruption, Decline, and New Hope for Beloved Community by Stephanie Spellers.

1. The church has entered into a time of massive transformation and everyone is invited to participate. Do you remember seeing or hearing about the Left Behind series some years back? It was based on Matthew 24:40-41(also found in Luke): "Then two men will be in a field: one will be taken and one will be left. Two women will be grinding at the mill: one will be taken and one will be left." (I do not recommend the movie or the book series, by the way.) I have been thinking of this passage lately as I reflect on the church's history leading up to this moment and to the infinite number of possibilities that are before it. The impetus of the Left Behind movie was fear; fear of God's retribution, of being "left behind" on the Day of Judgment: Get with the program or be left behind! Far from the fictional "Left Behind," the theme is playing out in real life for the church at this moment: It is being left behind, not by God, but by a post-Christian culture. There is no amount of playing with the statistics to deny this reality. But there is another kind of left behind that we might focus on and that is how the decline of the church is forcing self-examination and leading to transformation, to something new. I have been participating in the Becoming Beloved Community Wisdom Practice Circles via Zoom since last spring. The circle is made up largely of laity with a few clergy and a number of people who still call the Episcopal Church home but no longer find the worship fulfilling or relevant - they do church in the circle each week - and report that it meets their needs far more at this point. I find this an interesting phenomenon. The circle has no set liturgy but it is based on the four-fold path of Becoming Beloved Community as set forth by +Michael Curry, the Episcopal Presiding Bishop. This fall it is clear that the text, The Church Cracked Open is a companion in the work of transforming Christian community within the practice circles. Each day, as a member of the clergy, I am stretched as I explore the edges of tradition and traditional piety where the tears are showing and new threads are being woven through. It is unfamiliar to me and not always comfortable. So I try to relax as I identify my own rigid concepts and replace anxiety with curiosity. Instead of being afraid of what it means to be left behind in this great period of transformation I think that it might be more useful if we choose to be actively engaged in the Big Change. The Church Cracked Open helps us see ourselves not as victims of either our past or the cultural forces shaping the present moment but rather invites us into the possibilities of the future/now as full participants.  

2. The questions we are asking are more important than the certainty we think we need. Quotes from The Church Cracked Open:

"Those who are cowards will ask, "Is it safe?"

Those who are political will ask, "Is it expedient?"

Those who are vain will ask, "Is it popular?"

But those who have a conscience will ask, "Is it right?" (Paul Washington, black priest and activist, d.1987) (p. 83). 

Which question do I ask?

".... a whole cloud of witnesses: faithful people who risked and lost in the eyes of the world but gained a glimpse of God's beloved community. They can teach us now, if we are willing to listen and if we want beloved community more than peace, propriety, and protection. They are whispering and calling. Now is the hour. Let it crack. Let it go." (p. 86)  

What do we want?

"Followers of Jesus don't stand still, and we don't stay at the center waiting for centripetal force to draw all the people and resources inside to us. We go out beyond comfort, knowing and certainty. We go when and where the Holy Spirit sends us." (p. 130)  

Are we willing to move beyond the comfortable and the familiar? 

"What cost am I/are we willing to bear?" (p. 104)

3. Contemplation and Action are the two poles of the evolving church. Wherein Word and Table have been, and remain today, as the two poles of Episcopal weekly liturgy for the last 50 years as established by the 1979 Book of Common Prayer, it appears to me that the evolving "church" (not in the traditional sense) is gravitating toward the poles of contemplation and action. Fr. Richard Rohr, as only one example, set these two poles spinning with his long-time and hugely popular and transformative website: The Center for Contemplation and Action. This is to say that Word and Table are central to the life of the established Church and are important for those who attend worship and are not open to debate. But those who hold to a broader sense of spirituality, who do not attend worship or belong to a parish, and are not wed to the tradition and significance of Word and Table by choice, are also choosing spiritual and religious expressions that embrace Contemplation and Action as the two poles by which they find meaning. The Church Cracked Open is an invitation to think, to contemplate, both individually and communally, about the moorings of our institution and why they no longer hold for a large segment of the culture. It is also an invitation to move into action; which may be as simple as participation in a book study or the more strenuous effort of writing the book.

Thank you for reading my blog and walking with me in the path of spiritual grace; for your willingness to spend this time with me as together we learn how to see and be Christ in the world. Rowena + 

THREE THINGS.... Three reflections on the anniversary of my ordination

On Friday, December 3, I celebrated my 18th anniversary of ordained life. I came to ministry later in life and as a third career. I started out owning a small graphic design business and gradually a print shop. As a second career I worked as a case manager for the chronically mentally ill and then as an in-home child abuse prevention counselor, later the program manager. My three years of theological education at Sewanee (The School of Theology at the University of the South) with my young family were some of the sweetest years of my life. My recent trip back for Alumni Homecoming was a delightful trip down memory lane. I was ordained to the diaconate in July of 2003 in Orlando, FL, in my then home diocese, and to the priesthood six months later in Hilton Head, SC. Here are but a few reflections on my experience of ordained life.

1)  Why was I called to this? While I come from a family of priests, with a bishop back there in the late 1800's, I was the first woman to be ordained to the priesthood. For this reason and others, I never envisioned my path replicating that of my relatives, so in my mind, what lay before me after seminary was a blank slate. In other words, I had no preconceived fantasies about the priesthood. I was just curious; I wondered where the trail would lead and was open to the process of that leading. There is always a reason to be led to a particular place at a particular time but it isn't often discerned until one is in the midst of it; it is revealed when the time is right. 

I had worked without experiencing gender discrimination for nearly two decades in the secular world before I became a priest and it honestly never occured to me that it would be an issue. Ignorance is bliss... until one is no longer ignorant. My time in SC was a rude awakening. Seminary had been like living in a beautiful dream and landing in a diocese that I experienced as unfriendly to female clergy was like being shaken awake to an unpleasant reality. As one of my male colleagues, who was himself a gay priest, and knew a thing or two about discrimination in the church, said to me early on: "I feel badly for women in the priesthood. The truth is you'll have to work twice as hard as a man in the same position; always proving your worth. And you'll be judged and criticized for things no man would ever be." I found this to be true; sometimes in a very subtle ways and sometimes in more obvious ways. As time went on I began to chronically overfunction in my role to gain approval, which of course would never be granted, and experienced failing health and broken relationships. After a long while and a lot of pain, I found the antitote simple: Be true to God's leading and faithful to the Canons and that is enough. My experiences have made me more aware and sensitive to the subtle but real discrimination experienced by those who work outside of the perceived "norm" and guarded biases. Perhaps that is why I am so drawn to the work of Becoming Beloved Community; it gives me a place to say legitimately: Let's clean up our house. In a wider, more general sense, it is one of the revealings to the question: Why was I called to this?

2) 25% of ordained clergy leave the ministry in the first 5 years. Ordained life is not for the faint of heart. I came very close to being part of the 25%. But out of a time of crisis came new training for transitional ministry certification and a trip to Israel for pastoral renewal. I stayed at the work and learned a lot about how to weather hard times, what to take lightly and what to take seriously. In many ways I grew up. I learned to take prayer and meditation seriously. I learned to take study seriously. I learned to take self-care seriously. I learned to take continuing education and coaching seriously. I learned to take the value of collegial relationships seriously. I learned to let go of the trappings of religious life. I am still learning; daily I am learning what to take seriously and what to let go of. The daily practice of attending to the foundational practices of the spiritual life and the letting go of both secular and spiritual materialism has made me a better pastor, teacher and critical thinker. Ordained life has given me a clearer understanding that the crises we face here on the physical plane are doorways by which we enter into the Kingdom. Each challenge is simply another opportunity for growth and an invitation to explore things yet unknown. 

3) Transformation is the whole point. I've been preaching now for 20 years - counting the years of field ed in seminary. It took writing a lot of sermons and a lot of hours of study and a lot of continuing education to get to this one central truth: Transformation is the whole point. I remember so clearly hearing a sermon given by my then bishop, Bob Gepert, (who would years later become and remains my clergy coach) during a pastoral visit to my then parish of St. James many years ago, that refocused my inner spiritual compass. I heard him talk about transformation - that the whole point of the gospels, all the teachings of Jesus, the work of the cross and the resurrection - it was all for the purpose of our transformation; to the end that we become Christ-like by way of our devotion to living a Christ-centered life. It took me a while to begin to grasp this concept. A long while, and I'm still grasping. It sounds simple and plainly obvious, I know. But I've found that, in fact, it's not simple, or plainly obvious, for most people. The institutional church makes religious life pretty complicated a lot of the time. But the ultimate lesson of Jesus's teachings is very simple: We must die in order to be born. We tend to want to be born without dying. But that's not how it works. We fear being transformed because whoever gains their life must first lose it. When I was ordained I did not realize it was a kind of dying, the giving up of a different kind of life. Nearly 20 years later, I have some clarity about that. The question, Why was I called to this? is actually a declaration of dying to be born to something. It is a statement of surrender. It is a statement of transformation. It is the question that begins the dying process. It is a response to God's beckoning call to follow in the path set before us. It is the first question of the day of every faithful Christian.

Thank you for reading my blog and walking with me in the path of spiritual grace; for your willingness to spend this time with me as together we learn how to see and be Christ in the world. Rowena + 

THREE THINGS..... Three concluding thoughts on Mark

As we leave the Liturgical year of Mark I want to review a few of the highlights from our communal study of the proclamation of the Good News in Jesus Christ. 

1. Mark is a war-time document. Many scholars place Mark in or very near the year 70AD, the final year of the Jewish Revolt of 66 that culminated in the destruction of the second temple. 

The destruction of the temple did not come about from some outside invading force but rather was the brutal end of decades of Jewish uprisings against their Roman oppressors. The witness of Mark's Gospel account suggests that the Jewish unrest may have been further agitated by the oppression of the Pharisaic leadership of the time who were almost certainly in allegiance with the Romans. Concessions had to be made to Rome in order to continue the long-standing agreement between the Empire and the Jewish nation: Rome protected the Jews from outside nations who had threatened to annihilate them over the centuries and allowed them to have their temple and live religiously without persecution. But as the decades went by the relationship deteriorated and Rome became a domineering oppressor. A brief historical account is captured here: 

A Jewish diaspora had migrated to Rome and to the territories of Roman Europe from the land of Israel, Anatolia, Babylon and Alexandria in response to economic hardship and incessant warfare over the land of Israel between the Ptolemaic and Seleucid empires from the 4th to the 1st centuries BCE. In Rome, Jewish communities thrived economically. Jews became a significant part of the Roman Empire's population in the first century CE, with some estimates as high as 7 million people.

Roman general Pompey conquered Jerusalem and its surroundings by 63 BCE. The Romans deposed the ruling Hasmonean dynasty of Judaea (in power from c. 140 BCE) and the Roman Senate declared Herod the Great"King of the Jews" in c. 40 BCE. Judea proper, Samaria and Idumea became the Roman province of Iudaea in 6 CE. Jewish–Roman tensions resulted in several Jewish–Roman wars between the years 66 and 135 CE, which resulted in the  destruction of Jerusalem and the Second Temple and the institution of the Jewish Tax in 70 (those who paid the tax were exempt from the obligation of making sacrifices to the Roman imperial cult). (Wikipedia)

As we read Mark with the knowledge of the history between Rome and the Jewish nation and the timing of the war and its devastating effects on the Jewish people we begin to see the Gospel in a new light. Mark's proclamation of the Messiah was a shining light of hope, a call to redemption in the tradition of Isaiah and the Babylonian exile (and return to their land) in a time of desolation and utter despair. Jesus came upon the scene at a very volatile time in Jewish history; that not one stone would be left standing was a prophetic vision all too real at the time of Mark's writing.

2. Mark calls us to a change of heart and a return to the Lord. If all you know about Mark is this one thing then that is well enough. While all the Gospels call the people of God back to covenantal relationship with God, Mark does it with a shrill voice at breakneck speed. He was living in a world that most of us cannot imagine. The infant Christian community had experienced decades of rebellion that culminated into a full blown war and the widespread public tortures and persecutions of anyone who Rome felt had offended their rule of law. It is clear Mark felt that the end-times were very near, indeed, and by all accounts, the world as he knew it was ending. With the fall of Jerusalem the great diaspora would begin; from death came new life. But it would be a long while before stability began to replace chaos. The call for repentance was given with urgency in the midst of disruption and destruction - the time is now - return to the Lord! In the midst of radical violence there was a call to radical Love. We continue to live in turbulent times - different players, different situations - but the call to return to Love remains and with no less urgency.

3. Mark calls religious establishments to account. The call of Jesus in Mark to the established church of his time is to repent of its transgressions and return to right action, right relationship both with God and with God's people. In verse 12:41 Jesus sits opposite to the treasury and in verse13:3 he sits opposite the temple. That is, given the context, he sits in opposition to both the temple and its treasury; in opposition to its hypocrisy and oppressive practices; its fall out of God's favor.  Throughout Mark, Jesus is in open conflict with the Jewish leaders of his generation.  These religious leaders and Spiritual teachers had a profound responsibility to be honest and to have integrity. But in many cases they were not living up to the responsibilities inherent in their vocational calls and this hypocrisy and corruption infected the entire institution. The sure sign of a failed religious institution: Ambition and struggle replaces faithfulness and ongoing discernment/growth/change. 

When Christian community is living up to its collective vocational and missional call to hear and respond to the Word of God in the time and place it is proclaimed, curiosity and awe replace both ambition and struggle; there exist a counter-cultural reordering of values: Inspiration becomes more important than ambition. Trust in the flow of the Spirit replaces anxiety and strategic planning. Communities who are led by the Spirit are curious to discover the newest next thing and are open to possibilities, knowing that there are an infinite number of possibilities in the field of all possibilities (Dispenza) Spirit-led communities know that they are co-creators with the Divine - and are excited and inspired! Care for the wellbeing of others, that is, discerning how to help others help themselves (building mutually beneficial relationships as opposed to the general gifting of material goods) becomes a core value. Living in a covenantal relationship with the Cosmic Christ (Fox, Rohr) requires both the individual members and the community to take seriously its profound responsibility for integrity and authentic return to Love that Jesus prescribes. 

Can you catch the vision that Jesus casts for God's people in Mark?

Thank you for reading my blog and walking with me in the path of spiritual grace; for your willingness to spend this time with me as together we learn how to see and be Christ in the world. Rowena + 

THREE THINGS... Courage, Curiosity and Experimentation - A Way Forward

If you are a faithful person who belongs to a religious community then you are aware of the challenges that face that institution. I will leave it to you to bring to your mind a few particular items that are the cause of considerable anxiety. This consternation leads inevitably to this sampling of reactions, among others: What do we do...? How will we .. ? What if.....? While ideas and actions are important and necessary it is essential to understand that the work of communal restoration of worshipping communities belongs in the spiritual realm. So as long as we cling to the belief that when the conditions change, that is: When people start coming back to church... When things return to normal... When justice is realized... When conflicts cease.... we are not engaging with the spirit of the Gospels: The Good News. 

Jesus' teachings, however, are not dependent on ideal external conditions. In the Gospels, people almost never did what would seem to be obviously better for the community or for that matter what would have been better for them - especially the religious people! Jesus did not shy from pointing out the sorry state of affairs - but only in as far as it reflected upon the people's broken relationship (covenant) with God. Far from getting stuck in the mire of the details and participating in the anxious wringing of hands, Jesus chose instead to instruct the people on the cultivation of well-being in the here and now, before the conditions on the ground improved - rejoice in all things, do not be afraid, with God all things are possible, do not worry about what tomorrow will bring, or what you will eat or what you will wear, or what you will say, etc., etc. (to paraphrase). My reflections below, focused on three words, are but a minor attempt to assist faith communities through challenging times informed by the spirit of Jesus' guidance in the Gospels. 

1) Courage. The first act of courage, which may be sufficient unto itself, is surrender. There are many ways to surrender, most of them are very simple. Surrender is not a grand act or proclamation, it is as silent as snow falling; occurring moment to moment, private, intentional and practiced. To choose observation without judgment, or observation without taking a position, are forms of surrender. To choose listening instead of speaking, is a form of surrender. To monitor inner reactions and not act on them, is a form of surrender. To chose to pray about a situation before speaking or acting, is a form of surrender. To surrender takes courage because it requires that we consent to transformation. It takes a lot of courage to develop the discipline to be the master of the mind (the ego) and not its servant. The ego does not back down without a struggle. But allowing the ego to run one's life, damaging relationships and communal life, takes no courage at all. 

2) Curiosity. Fearful people are not curious. When we are fearful, we are, at best, angry, defensive, cynical and sarcastic, unkind, and reactionary; and at worst, controlling, presumptuous and arrogant. These are the symptoms of fear. It is good to know them so that when they show up in our lives, and they do show up, we can make decisions about how to behave in the world. For instance, when we are trying to control everyone around us in order to help ourselves feel less afraid, to bring some relief to our mental suffering, there is an abject lack of curiosity. Curiosity requires discipline but not courage. Asking ourselves, "I wonder what would happen if I did not do (whatever it is I usually do)? How can I still be ok in this moment if I simply let things be as they are? When we understand that others are as fearful as we are, we allow for the development of compassion and empathy.

3) Experimentation. Experimentation flows naturally out of the freedom that courage and curiosity open us to. When we are free we want to experiment because we are not tied to an outcome. When we are not tied to expected or desired outcomes our doing becomes playing. We play with ideas because we are curious to see where they will lead. And we enjoying inviting others into that play with us. The "failure" of an experiment leads to a curious response and a willingness to suspend judgment and blame. When we are free we don't hold on to ownership of ideas; what does it matter, after all? When we are free we are not tied to our roles. If you've been in a particular role for a long time, over a couple of years, it might be instructive to ask yourself who you'd be if you weren't in that role anymore? How much of your identity comes from doing as opposed to simply being in the world? When we are creating and playing with ideas we enjoy the process of putting new ideas into action. Experimentation is fun.

These three words invite us to engage in self-reflection and, as the saying goes, be the change we want to see in the world.

Thank you for reading my blog and walking with me in the path of spiritual grace; for your willingness to spend this time with me as together we learn how to see and be Christ in the world. Rowena + 

THREE THINGS.... Three perspectives of the fall season for the spiritual life

The fall season in the eastern, midwestern part of the United States, is a transitory time in which great change happens. The warm, dryness of summer is replaced with blustery, wet and chilly days. The light of day that warmed us in the spring and summer gives way to longer periods of darkness. The splendor of fall color replaces the vibrancy of summer blooms. There is a crispness to fall weather that has a clearing, cleansing effect. The grass which had taken on a subtle dullness under the heat of the summer sun revives and thrives with bright green-ness nourished by frequents rain. The squirrels are busy burying nuts and seeds. The trees release their leaves and their sap runs with the cooler temperatures. All the plants send their energy down into their roots to prepare for winter dormancy. Herbalist know that this is the time to dig for roots because the healing energy is there and no longer expressing itself in the cycle of regeneration and propagation above ground which has not passed. Farmers know this is the time to plant the garlic. Landscapers know this is this time to plant the flowering bulbs to ensure a spring bouquet. The seasonal changes in the external, natural world, reflect the changes that our occurring in our spiritual bodies as well, sometime are subtle, sometime are pronounced. Noticing the changes in the natural world and reflecting on how they might also apply to our spiritual being-ness can be a deeply satisfying and reassuring a practice amidst the chaos, upheaval, uncertainty and fear that dominates the human realm.

1. There is seasonal complexity. Most people in the temperate climates of the west recognize only four seasons in temperate climates. However, in at least two of the worlds most ancient healing traditions, additional seasons are observed to capture the complexity of what is occurring in the natural world in order to assist its practitioners to adapt to the changes with intentionality. In Ayurvedics, the 5000 year old healing science of India, six seasons are observed, namely, Shishira (winter), Vasanta (spring), and Grishma (summer) in Uttarayan and Varsha (monsoon), Sharata (autumn), and Hemanta (late autumn) in Dakshinayana.  Likewise in the Macrobiotic lifestyle which developed out of thousands of years of Traditional Chinese Medicine and Taoist philosophy, six seasons are observed: spring, early summer, late summer, early fall and late fall, and winter. In both of these healing traditions, intentional dietary changes are made to reflect specific and different growing seasons, and for both physical and spiritual reasons. (Neither understand physical/spiritual as separate; the physical continually manifesting the spiritual.) For instance, eating asparagus in late fall, or watermelon in winter, is considered confusing to the body and creates both physical and spiritual imbalance. To habitually eat out of season is to live outside the rhythms of the natural world of which we are a part and from which we cannot be separated. How would you characterize and differentiate the early and late fall seasons? Does the fall season, as a whole, alter your habits of daily living or how you feel? How might you tweak your spiritual practices to reflect/celebrate the changes in the seasons with intentionality? 

2. The trees don't try to hold onto their leaves. I was listening to one of my health and wellness mentors speak about the fall season this week. This elderly, cheerful Indian man was sitting on a bench with warm, layered clothing and a hat. The ground was damp, the morning mist had burned off; yellow, orange and brown leaves were lying all around him with many still on the trees, framing his figure. In speaking of the fall season he noted that the trees don't try to hold onto their leaves. When the time comes each year they release them without fear or hesitation. (I noted to myself that neither do the leaves cling dearly to the tree.) There is no struggle or even surrendering because it is in the nature of the tree (and its parts, the leaves) to be an expression of life in one form and then to transform into another expression of life; to be life, to beget life, and to return to the living soil from where is came. The annual releasing of the leaves can invite us to wonder if being born and dying are simply two parts of a single action. Could it be that death is not an endpoint? How do you define "eternal life?" Would we live differently if we understood our selves as living entities of a boundless cosmos complicit in a continual cycle of death and rebirth? What does this powerfully illustrative fall season teach you about death?

3. Squirrels don't remember where they buried the nuts. It's true. We assume that these cute, little furry guys, so good a scavenging for nuts, recall all the special places they put their winter food supply, but in actuality, they don't. The job of the squirrel in the fall is to find and bury nuts. The work is to provide food for the whole community so that as many squirrels as possible can survive the harsh winter with adequate food. The object is not individual survival, rather, unified cooperation for the good of all. Anyone who has ever watched squirrels knows that they take their work very seriously and that at this moment they are busy, busy, busy stashing away the food that will sustain their community during the lean months. What nuts are you anonymously burying in places you won't remember for the good of all in this preparatory season of transformation?

Thank you for reading my blog and walking with me in the path of spiritual grace; for your willingness to spend this time with me as together we learn how to see and be Christ in the world. Rowena + 

THREE THINGS.... Three Ways We Sabotage Our Spiritual Work

I often say that "Spirituality is an inside job." This is to say that living a Jesus-centered life does not just happen... it develops by way of our awakening to our true selves, the practices we undertake to nurture and expand that awakening, and by the daily choices we make to live authentically.

In every moment our past experiences are informing and shaping our present selves - unless we choose instead to be defined by who we truly are, our authentic self, rather than the story of ourselves based on things that have happened to us and the story that others tell us about who we are; the stories of us that we allow to define (and confine) us. 

For some, this is a huge discovery - to realize, perhaps for the first time, that we have a choice about who we are and how we want to be in the world. The mere awareness of this choice can be transformative; and to active choose certainly is. Jesus presents us with that choice all the time. 

The rich man had done all the practices and followed all the rules of his religion and yet when confronted with the selling of all his possessions he turned from Jesus and returned to the familiar of his life. (Mark 10:17-31) He was looking to add something to his life as if it were a possession to own or earn. Instead, he was asked to stop being who he thought he was and take on a completely new identity; to be his authentic self; the self that is not related to the collected items we possess and the stories they tell the world about us; the myth of us. 

We do not just collect things. We collect stories that we tell again and again to say - this is who I am. But this is not who we are. We collect experiences and we relate them again and again to ourselves and to the people we know and we say - this is who I am. But this is not who we are. We look in the mirror and we tell ourselves and others about what we see and we say - this is who I am. But this is not who we are. The path to the authentic self, to self-knowledge, unity with the divine, the realization of our connectedness with the whole of creation and the rejection of the myth of separation - this is the Jesus way. 

On this path there are delays, fits and starts, non-starters, road blockages, sinkholes, and wide fissures to transverse, as well as divergent paths to choose, often. Here are but three.

1. The Spirit resides in us. This one does not appear to be a tree lying across the road. But it is when we do not live from this truth. Most of the time we place the responsibility for our contentment, our happiness, our okay-ness, on the outside world. We ask the people in our world continually to reassure us that all is well and that we are doing well. And our world is all too happy to let us know when we are and when we are not going along with the myth of us that both we and they have created and keep in place through these patterns of asking and answering. (Please re-read the above to be reminded of the folly of this exercise.) 

We seek the Spirit, we seek Jesus, we seek God everywhere but where divinity resides - in us (and in all of the natural world). I was listening to a podcast of Zach Bush recently who suggested that to remain cognizant of who we are we need to pay attention to our own vibration. To do this simply close your eyes and acknowledge where you feel vibration in your body. That is the you of you. Focus on the sensation of the vibration of your own body, this is the energy of Spirit. The Spirit is part of and is the fullness of God - and it is in you, in every one of us. When we are in pain the Spirit is not in pain, but rather it is that which seeks to comfort us. When we are angry the Spirit is not angry but seeks to calm our fears. When we are frustrated or confused the Spirit is clear and clarifying. When we are self-blaming and remorseful, the Spirit is never accusing or regretful - it rejoices in our evolution. When we are sad and longing for what has been, the Spirit pushes us on joyfully to the next adventure - including the adventure of dying. We have to choose the voices we listen to and act accordingly; from a place of insecurity and conformity OR from a place of connectedness with Spirit. 

2. Distraction is avoidance. Every moment of every day we have to choose the path we are going to take in that moment: To live a Jesus-centered life OR to live a life dictated by conditioned patterns of asking and answering for short-term temporal okay-ness. Distractions are anything that are excuses (Things that are very important and have to be done right now!) that keep us from making that choice. Who has time for that?... is a distraction. I heard an interview some time ago with a celebrity who was explaining his one hour a day meditation practice. The interviewer exclaimed: Who can afford to spend an hour in meditation every day? The celebrity replied: Who can afford not to spend an hour a day in meditation?

3. Think before you act. This is advice you got from your mother or a good mentor along the way. It cannot be overstated. The thinking part, however, is not the intellectual thinking we do to figure out a logical course of action. It is rather the "sitting with" a thing and the consideration of all its consequences. Native people consider their actions as to how it will affect seven generations. If the thing to be done seems good for short term benefit but will have negative lasting consequences on later generations they do not do it. This is a higher spiritual principle that goes beyond the "me" of this moment but considers rather the "whole of me" - all my relations. And "all my relations" are not bound by time or space. The vibration that we feel in our bodies is not temporal energy bound to the flesh, but is pure energy - unbounded and free. As my mentor says: You are so free, you can choose bondage. We are free to decide how we will act and who we will affect by our individual and communal decisions. One example: Every time we buy an item from the store we decide. We either get to know and support local, organic farmers and eating nutrient dense food or we are very likely supporting unjust migrant farming practices as well as non-sustainable agricultural, harvesting and husbandry practices and eating nutritionally empty food grown in dead soil. Who made the clothes we are wearing or the cell phones we carry around? Do they come from China or Indonesia - did children make them? were the workers paid a living wage and do they work in humane and just conditions? We have a spiritual connection to the child that labors to make the clothes we wear. Jesus is that child. (What you do to the least of these you do to me. Matt. 25:40) Every single thing we do affects a people here and now and the seven generations to come. To plunder headlong with an absence of thought is a spiritual sinkhole. 

Thank you for reading my blog and walking with me in the path of spiritual grace; for your willingness to spend this time with me as together we learn how to see and be Christ in the world. Rowena +