Sweaty Palms

There's a first time for everything. So here I am, blogging for the first time.
My palms are sweating. How hard can this be? I wonder. People, millions of people, in fact, blog. There's a whole world out there of blogging - so get with it, I tell myself. So here goes.

I decided to call my little blog "Perfection Undone" in order to name and lean into the stumbling block that prevents me from blogging, or putting anything into words on a page, for that matter; it won't be perfect. Perfection is not my friend. It is my enemy; and not mine alone. It is our common enemy. Perfection stops us before we can ever get started. Worse yet, our need to be perfect, do the right things, say the right things, sing the right notes, show up at the right times, be the right person for the right job, and juggle all the right balls in the air, prevents us from taking risks.

Now the problem with this might seem obvious from a practical point of view. But from a theological perspective its all the more tragic. God isn't into perfection - at least not human perfection. God doesn't require perfection and doesn't seem the least bit bothered by our lack of it. It only matters to us. God is into risk. God calls us into places that require risk. Risk and perfection don't really go together. Risk is messy and unflattering and might require more than one try, several tries actually. And it will lead us to dismal failures and humiliating fits and starts before we arrive at whatever place it is God has called us to. Perfectionism, and all its trappings, are antithetical to a Gospel of love, mercy, patience, generosity and justice. None of these things, done by humans, is ever perfect.

Even so, I tend to keeping working toward perfection. But the perfection I am really seeking is much greater than the human limitations of perfection. What I am really seeking is Godly perfection, the perfection of Christ. In my own clumsy way, I'm trying to connect with a supernatural, transcendent perfection, Godly perfection. Of course I know that this kind of perfection is beyond my ability to wholly grasp - yet this has not stopped me from trying to grab it bit by bit through my own efforts, repetitiously futile as they are.

I hate to think of myself as a perfectionist. And yet the very thing I do not want to strive to be, knowing it is a hollow and illusive pursuit (not to mention idolatry), I pursue it non-the-less. This blog is an intentional response to the day to day seductions of perfectionism that we all face.