Wednesday, December 9, 2009

God seeping in

The Christmas holidays are filled with land mines for this perfectionist in recovery.  I have this vague idea of what a perfectly decorated home/life looks like. And mine is not it.  Still, like the hungry addict it's everything I can do not to pick up the holiday edition of the Martha Stewart magazine.
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There is no other time of year when I have to remind myself so stringently that the saying, "You can have it all," isn't exactly a lie, but it isn't the whole truth either.  The truth is, no one, no woman, no man, can work full time, have a family, friends, a home, a hobby, a social life, get a good night's sleep - and have it be all that we expect or imagine it should be.  The truth is, most of the people I know have most, if not all, of these things in their lives; some juggle them better than others, but none of us have them to the extent we would like.  We spend quite a lot of mental energy reminding ourselves, that not one of those things will ever be done to perfection, nor need they be.  As long as there are children living at home, the house will never stay clean or neat.  As long as hobbies includes domestic and farm animals, there will be muddy boots, a steady supply of pooh, barf and hair, and outdoor chores in every imaginable weather condition.  As long as we are gainfully employed, we will not be able to do everything with our families we and they would like, though we feel no less obligated to try to be in two places at one time.

How is it we came to be in this perpetual catch-22?  How is it that the bar keeps getting raised higher and higher?  I suspect that the medium of advertising has had the greatest role in painting the perverse caricatures of human perfection that colors our subjectivity.  My first career was in advertising and marketing.  But after several years I simply couldn't find the high moral ground on which to keep creating the illusion that a particular product or service was somehow more valuable and necessary that it actually was. Not that they weren't all good things.  In fact the illusion to be created had little to do with the products and everything to do with how these things would enrich and/or simplify one's busy life.  Advertising is the weight-bearing wall for the "You can have it all," creed of 21st century life in America.

It is no mere coincidence that the decline of Western Christianity coincides perfectly with the growth of the advertising industry.  It is no coincidence that we, as a nation, as a culture, have never been so lonely, so exhausted or so frustrated while at the same time being so overly exposed to empty promises of cures for these conditions.  But in the spaces in between, in those places where our unhappiness doesn't quite overlap with the illusive promises of temporary relief, God seeps in.  There are other times of year that appear more conducive to focusing on that 'space in between,' such as the season of Lent. But in truth, there is no other time of year that we are as weary, as stressed, or as torn between things we need "to do." God is seeping in all over the place. God is in the realization that we don't need to have it all, or at least not all of the time and not all at the same time.  God is there when we begin to take things off the to do list, not because they're done, but because they are unnecessary distractions that keep us from enjoying the time and people that are dear to us.  God is there we add time for rest and for play to the list.  God is present to us as we acknowledge a certain level of resentment for this time of year; a hurried time that pushes us out of our normal routines, tests our financial discipline and reminds us, with a vengeance, of how far from perfect we really are. God's grace is all about freeing us from the crueler trappings of this joyful season.  We need not add God-seeking items to our to do list; it is God who stealthy pursues us, who finds us, who loves and adores us - and who seeps into our lives at every opportunity. God's primary work is to have us know that our lives our enriched and simplified not by adding to it the things we think are missing, but by pointing us toward a deep and abiding appreciation of what is already present and available.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Nice post! Cheryl put me on to your blog. I still want to go live in the Williams-Sonoma catalog this time of year,though. Bummer to hear it's all marketing. :>

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