The movie, Julie and Julia, was a big hit this year. Its the story of a woman who is not particularly happy with her life; in a job she doesn't enjoy and in the midst of an unsettling move. For distraction, if not for self-help, she decides she will cook her way through Julia Child's The Art of French Cooking, one recipe a day. Her husband suggests that she start a blog and write about her experience. So she decides to try it. At first she is convinced that no one is reading her blog so it seems a pointless exercise. Shortly, however, she begins to receive a few comments and before long people are sending her hard-to-find items for upcoming recipes. She begins to realize that she is in a very large conversation with people she doesn't know and is encouraged day by day by their enthusiasm. Later in the movie, during an argument, her husband expresses his regret for suggesting the blog. He says that it is nothing but self-gratification for what has become a narcissistic obsession. She points out that that is exactly what blogs are: people writing about THEIR experiences or opinions, with the assumption that other people will find them interesting or helpful.
Haunting me ever since, I began to consider my own motivations for blogging. After several months of mulling this over, I have resolved that I write these little slices of life as a way of acknowledging grace where it exists, and sometimes thrives, in the imperfect struggles of daily life. I imagine that some of the pictures I attempt to paint may not resonate, but perhaps the struggles that exists within them might. I believe that what binds us together is our obsession with self, and of getting self right, in every aspect. But we can't get it right, we never will. And it makes us unhappy as individuals, and as a nation.
In the individualistic sea that we swim in, national unhappiness might not seem important. "What does my neighbor's unhappiness have to do with me? Deal with it," would be a predictable response. However, a recent sociological study has revealed that an average of six people are affected by a single individual who is unhappy. Other, older studies report a high level of unhappiness in the general US population, primarily expressing itself as deep loneliness, addiction, varying degrees of depression, self-destructive behaviors and suicide. It is a well-known fact that despite being one of the wealthiest nations in the world we are among the most unhappy and most unsatisfied with our lives on the whole.
Several years ago I facilitated a Christian mother's support group in a very wealthy parish in a very wealthy community. I was genuinely surprised, and very saddened, by the level of loneliness and despair revealed in this group of predominately young moms. All the amenities money can buy often comes with the unforeseen byproducts of alienation and isolation. This phenomenon of sadness, in other words, can not be defined by socio-economic status. Though I am hardly an expert, I have done enough pastoral work and have been paying attention to this topic long enough to make the educated guess that we are in an epidemic of loneliness. If this is the case, then I think that social networking is and will continue to play a significant role in our collective recovery.
To this end, I think blogging might just have a useful, if not, perhaps, therapeutic role on two levels. First, like Julie, who blogged her way out of loneliness, despair and depression by daily posting her cooking adventures with Julia Child (despite Julia's total rejection of her efforts to connect existentially with her, ouch) those of us who blog find it a surprisingly helpful way to connect with people, many of whom we've never met but with whom we find some common ground on which to walk together for even a short while. Secondly, reading blogs is totally fascinating. It's like reading mini-articles on any topic your heart desires, written by someone from your neighborhood or someone across the planet. Totally cool.
Clearly this is not an equal substitute for being with another person, face to face. But what the Internet world, and in particular, the young adults who are so adept as social networking are teaching us, is that in the realm of complicated human relationships this is an additional and valid way to connect us in ways never before possible in all of human existence. It is not without inherent risks, but so is driving a car. Few of us, are willing to give up driving because the benefits outweigh the risks.
My pre-teen son plays an on-line game in which he meets and interacts with people from all over the world. How cool is that? (Monitoring required, I would hope this goes without saying.) But he enjoys telling me about his new friends (who might also be enemies, given the gaming strategy at that particular moment), their ages and what they comment to each other about. If crudity or instances of TMI appears (ie., "Hey dude, I'm soooo hungover, got smashed last night," de-friending is necessary, but this, happily, is rare. By far, most of the participants think it is as rad to play a game and get to know other people from all over the world as he does.
So kudios to Julie, whose movie I did not particularly enjoy, I must admit, but who gave me permission to move beyond the limits of my understanding of what passes for human interaction and into a world of self/shared healing. It's not perfect; that would be the point.
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