I have mixed feelings about New Year's Resolutions. I haven't seen proclamations of huge sweeping changes in one's life especially effective long-term. But on the other hand, I do think that identifying things in our lives that we want to amend or improve is a really good thing. It all comes down to process. As a certified health coach with an active, former practice, I saw again and again the best of intentions fall by the wayside as old habits crept back. All of us know how that goes. At the heart of the spiritual life are spiritual practices. Is there a practice you'd like to explore this year? Here I suggest three ways to help you work a new spiritual practice into your life.
1. Be clear about what you want. How would you like to enrich your spiritual journey? What would you like to play with, to experiment with? Perhaps you've resolved that you'd like to learn to meditate or do Centering Prayer, or study the Bible on a regular basis, or begin doing some spiritual writing. Keep it simple. Consider all your options and then pick one thing and one thing only.
Scale it back to its most simple, most basic form - not the idealized, perfected practice you might see for yourself. That's the end game, not the starting point. In yoga, the practice begins with just sitting on the mat. Even people who have practiced for decades and experience ups and downs in their commitment, sometimes falling away for weeks or months at a time. Know that it doesn't help to beat yourself up. It just makes it worse. Start simple, restart simple. Just sit on the mat. That's enough.
Give your new practice room to grow. Think of it like a plant in your garden. You plant a seedling in the spring but you don't expect the harvest until the fall. The reward of beginning a new spiritual practice is not quantity but quality; enjoy growing it over time. Resolving to read the whole Bible in a year is probably a bit much. However, resolving to read one chapter of one book of the Bible per week might be a better place to start. Just researching Contemplative Prayer and learning about it, collecting some resources or deciding where in your house you want to do the activity is a good place to start. That is the equivalent of "just sit on the mat." A slow, realistic start sets up a better chance of developing a long-time habit or new practice.
Be realistic about your schedule. WHEN would you sit with the Bible, do Contemplative Prayer. When could you set aside some time for reading some spiritual authors you've been wanting to read seriously, or do some journaling during your week? It's a lot easier to work with a time conducive to introducing a new activity rather than having to carve it out of an already packed week.
2. Get your team together and lean on them. Accountability and support is really important in setting resolutions. Who can support you in the development of your new spiritual practice? Authors make great support systems. When I feel a practice begin to slip I start watching some videos or listening to podcast or read from a book from someone with lots of experience in that area. I get re-inspired. I remember why I wanted to do the practice to begin with.
Who in your personal or social life is doing the same or similar kind of thing you are beginning? Keep in touch with them. Find someone who shares your interests in exploring a new practice. Check in with one another and share how it's going.
Use a calendar to record when you are doing your practice as a way to be accountable to yourself.
Journal about your experience or learnings as you begin, and later, the ways in which you are changing as you go deeper into your practice.
Talk to people who have been doing the practice you're beginning for longer than you. What advice do they have for you? What resources do they recommend? How do they manage "the seasons" of the practice; times of falling in and out of love with it?
Get a spiritual director to walk with you over the long-haul. Engaging in spiritual practices are not like going on a diet - there is no goal to be reached, no reward to earn. It isn't about how much book knowledge you gain. Before enlightenment: Cut wood, carry water. After enlightenment: Cut wood, carry water. But you will be different; more aware, more connected to the Source of all Being, more responsive, less reactive, more compassionate, more reflective and patient, more of everything the world really needs all of us to be. We do our practices best when we do them in community; that is, connected to those who are doing the work as well.
3. Perfection is missing the point. Be willing to let a resolution go if it you aren't following through or it isn't a good match. Be okay with that. Sometimes we think we want to do something but it isn't right for us. For instance, people who drink a lot of coffee probably aren't going to be able to sit in meditation as a daily practice; it isn't a match energetically or vibrationally - unless the two are separated by about 12 to 16 hours which is how long the effect of the drug, caffeine, lasts. It is normal to have monkey mind when "sitting," but caffeine creates monkeys on uppers and it can be really frustrating. Perhaps, in truth, you like to drink coffee more than you want to learn to meditate. No problem. Chose something else. Don't force a practice that simply isn't compatible with your lifestyle because of some perfectionist ideal: Which can be easily identified by the word, "should," in your self-talk. "I should be able to meditate; every one else is doing it."
Likewise, don't set a really high bar for yourself or be too rigid. That is a set-up for sabotage. Say, usually, you study the Bible in the mornings but vacation and a busy schedule threw you off your practice. No problem. Just sit on the mat. Come back with intention but not with a vengeance, i.e., forcing yourself to read in one sitting all the material you missed in the last two weeks so you're still "on schedule." Gently get back into your groove.
Don't identify with the practice - you are not your practice - it is only something you do in order to know Christ more deeply and to be transformed by that knowledge. That's the only reason to do a practice. When we are clear about this, ego falls away and there is no perfection. The goal is to have no goal, no ideal practice, no anticipated outcome, no expectations at all. It is said that when we are taught the word "bird" when shown a feathered creature in the sky, we can no longer see birds, we only see the object we call a bird. Spiritual practices, contemplative practices in particular, allow for the labels to fall away and the knowing of the essence of all things to be fully realized. When we are aware of our need for perfection we can respond in kindness to ourselves and just sit on the mat and breath for awhile.
Practices are tools. Beware of holding on too tightly to them. Enjoy them for awhile and then lovingly let them go when you need to grow by another means. Spiritual practices change lives. Expect to be changed, over time.
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